Family death changed Halloween plans?

[DeathTouch]

I just recently had a death in the family. I was wondering if anyone here has had the same and has it affected the way you build props or stopped you from doing them all together? Or did it only fuel your Halloween fire more? I guess this would also go for someone you know as well.

Initially, I thought that making tombstones and skulls might be in some way dishonoring my mother’s memory. But all that changed once I got home and my grandmother showed me letters from my mother back when I was first born. Page after page of nothing but talk of making things for Halloween. Mostly Halloween costumes and make-up.
My father came forward and told me a few days ago that my mother, who was a beautician, secretly wanted to become a Halloween make-up FX artist. I think my mouth about dropped when I heard this. If I had only knew earlier I could have let her go through my Transworld bag of FX Make-up stuff. She could have gone crazy with that stuff. But I should have known anyway. When I was little my mom used to make it look like I had a bullet wound and deep cuts to my face by using tissue paper and eyelash adhesive. Then she would pour a little fake blood in the cut or hole. It was so real looking people would scream when I walked the halls in High School. (It was a costume day) The next year she would cut hair fibers off a costume fabric and use eyelash adhesive to glue it to my face. Instant werewolf.

So I guess through all this, I would say my answer would be that it has only strengthen my love of Halloween.

[Frighteners Entertainment]

Thanks for sharing DT!

[krypt]

hang in there bud.......and keep up the props and halloween and all.... that story should be plenty of inspiration.....i realy dont know what to say

[Sinister]

Way to go, DT. It's cool to know the presence of your mother was still there to spur you on to do what you love. That was a very inspirational piece. Thanks for sharing it.

[Vlad]

Hi DT. I'm so sorry to hear of you and your families loss. I know there are no words that can really comfort you now, but I did indeed have a similar story/situation.
My brother passed away some years ago, and we buried him on Halloween day. He and I had spent our childhood making small haunted walk throughs in the basement, and would take turns trying to outdo each other. As I grew older, and began decorating outside, he was the one next to me crouching by the front picture window watching the TOTers reactions. When I got married and moved away, and began decorating my own home, he showed up every year in a different costume, and we'd hang out together answering the door, and watching horror flicks till the wee hours every Halloween night.
I can remember standing at his graveside, not wanting to do anything for that Halloween day, when I suddenly realised that letting the kids down would be the last thing he'd want to happen. I remember smiling, and thinking to myself that only he could have gotten me into a graveyard on Halloween. I went home that day and dragged out every Halloween decoration I had. My Mom was pretty shocked that I was going on with the celebration, but even she knew it was what he would have wanted. Till this day she doesn't really celebrate Halloween, other than coming over to our house.
There's no way that we're dishonoring the ones we lost that loved our holiday with the same passion that we do. We're doing it even more, because they'd want us to be happy, and want us to pick up where they left off. This is the year for you to pull out all the stops in her memory. Hang in there my friend, there'll be smiles mixed with the tears in every prop you make.

[Frighteners Entertainment]

Very touching. Hard to believe you would find such similar events like this.
It's very humbling.
Thanks for sharing Vlad.

[claymud]

DT I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and I'm glad that you have been able to carry on with your haunting.

It's good to hear too Vlad that you were able to carry on.

[DeathTouch]

Thank you Vlad. That does help. I decided to take this one last day off. I wasn't really to work today. I was doing ok until I saw a mother's day add for Mary Kay. Their slogan(I think) was "Mother's day starts with Kay". Of course, my mother's name was Kay so it hit home. Or maybe just a last funny remark from my mother. Who knows.

[Dr Morbius]

Gosh DT...I am really sorry to hear about your mom's passing. I think she would be proud of you telling that story, and continuing to build props in her memory.

[heresjohnny]

DT, my father died 11 years ago, I was best friends with him. I was using his computer to finish my thesis, and he would sit up with me all night while I worked on it. He and I moved us over to the east coast Florida when I graduated and got a job. 2 weeks later he died suddenly. It was really crazy. That night I was driving his old pickup truck (the one thing of his I took), bawling my eyes out because I was so shocked he was gone, with a huge smile on my face because I swear I could feel him letting me know he was in a good place and not to worry about him. Since that day I still have what I call my Dad encounters...he was a marine biologist, and butterflys would land on my arm and look at me, things like that. I actually keep a butterfly garden in his memory now.

DT, you do whatever you feel is right, I feel for you in her passing, and I hope you can find the sense that your mom is also in a good place.

[Frighteners Entertainment]

HJ, what can I say...just feels right. Thank you.

[roadkill]

DT,

I don't know you yet but I can still say this much. I feel for your loss. Keep her in your thoughts and all the good times and happy memories of her will comfort you.

[TipoDeemin]

DT, all I can say is that we're here for you, and that it sounds like your mom was a wonderful woman.

[Otaku]

DT, you are her legacy. Carry on the with the spirit of Halloween in her name. Take care.

[Nightshade]

Dt, I'm so sorry for your loss. But I do feel that if she loved Halloween and make-up as you said, you would be honoring her by continuing with your love of Halloween and the projects you want to do. I do believe she would not want you to stop your wonderful work. I know it is hard losing a parent. I was 19 when my Mom died of a heart attack with no warning. What a shock. Eventhough she was too busy working to support the family to enjoy Halloween I know she is happy that I am having so damn much fun building props and scaring the you know what out of the kids every year. So please keep up the great work in her honor.

[Michigal]

DT, my thoughts and sorrow go out to you at this time. But like all have said, you must continue the legacy of a woman who apparently passed on her love of Halloween to you. And when you feel a friendly spirit beside you as you put out your props, you'll know it's her.

[DeathTouch]

I guess the funeral didn’t stop me as much as I thought. On the day of her funeral I went to the cemetery that she was going to be buried and took some gravestone pictures. It wasn’t for the contest but for a lady I talk too about her family tree on-line. She was looking for information of family members in this cemetery. I found out her dates were wrong. I even have picture as proof.

I kind of feel that heresjohnny was right about the feeling that they are around. I was driving back to Chicago with my wife. We were in separate cars since she couldn’t get the time off, but only for that day. I have satellite radio in my truck. I was listening to a dance mix station, channel 36 the beat. It seemed that every song was talking directly to me from my mom. I was crying all the way to Chicago. Even as I was getting ready to turn off the truck’s motor, the last song title was “I will be in heaven with you.” You can guess that really hit home.

I was able to give the preacher some really nice stories for the funeral. I gave him two funny stories which only 1 made it to the final speech. The story that made it was the M&M story (Not what you are thinking), which made a lot of people laugh. She was trying to potty train me when I was little, so she put a bowl of M&Ms in the bathroom. She told me that every time I go on the potty that I was able to get some M&Ms. And it was working rather well. She then tells me that my dad had to use the bathroom. When he walked out of the bathroom I was standing there and said, “You used the potty, now you can grab some M&Ms dad.” Everyone laughed after that. The other story wasn’t used probably because it has something to do with porn. The preacher wrote it down, but probably didn’t want to use the porn ref. The story goes; when I was younger my parents bought one of those huge satellite dishes. And of course it had tons of porn channels but the dish had to be pointed a certain way to get them. Well, my buddy came over one day when my parents were not around. He was asking me about the porn channels. I thought, no one is around I could put it on for a while. No one will ever know. After about 5 mins we heard a car drive up to the front of the house. It was of course my mom. I scrabbled to change the satellite position to some thing else. My mother walked in and slowed climbed the stairs. A smirk crossed her face as she said, “So, what are you boys doing?” My buddy immediately spoke, “Oh, were are just watching ladies get tattoos.” My friend was such a dork! He didn’t mention that they were nude but it didn’t matter. But I found out that she already knew what we were doing, because she saw the position of the dish before she drove up.


Thank you everyone for your kind words.

[Merlin (The Quiet One)]

So sorry for your loss DT. Those happy memories will stay with you forever.

[MrsMyers666]

DT I'm so sorry about your loss. You have some great stories about your mom which are memories you'll always have. Definitely continue to do what you do for Halloween. And even though you didn't really know your mom wanted to do FX makeup anytime you do makeup for Halloween you will think of her.

[Hella]

Hey DT, I am very sad to hear of your mother's passing. I am sure she would want you to continue doing the things that bring you so much joy. and like a couple of the previous posts have stated, she is right there with you when you are doing these things.
May her journey in to the arms of the great mother be swift and her spirit live strong through you.

[ScareFX]

DT,

I'm sorry about your mom. We lost my dad two years ago this Wednesday. It's always difficult and you can't know what is like until it happens. I thought long and hard about whether to do a graveyard scene that year. I was concerned about how it would effect my mom. But she reminded me how Halloween had become so much fun for both her and my dad. They had been traveling down to our house every year for five years. My dad had been helping me put together our display each of those years. Those are great memories now. I truly cherish the time we spent together creating a wonderful scene for all the tot's. So honor your mom this year. She will be smiling down on you.

The pic below is from the last year that my dad and I worked on a display together.

[DeathTouch]

Thank you ScareFx. That does help knowing that there are others here at Unpleasant Street that have gone though the same thing. My wife lost both her parents. One to cancer and the other to an electrical fire. So she has been a big lift to my spirits.

I took a picture of my mom about three years ago. (Enclosed here) She had gotten diabetes when she had my youngest sister. That has been about 32 years ago. Twelve years ago she started having strokes and was confined to a chair. I thought I was going to be ready for this day, but I don’t think any preparation can prepare anyone for something like this. Thank you everyone for your kind sentiments.

[Da Weiner]

Hey DT - My mom also had diabetes when she had my brother. She was also 32 years old. At the age of 48, she had to have her leg amputated and then the other one was amputated at 52. It was tough for her because she was always on the go. She died at the age of 56 a couple of years ago on Oct. 30. Believe me - I know what it's like. I also was torn because I was gearing up for Halloween was getting ready to go over her apartment to drop off her laundry and my brother called me and told me to come over right away. Halloween morning I was making funeral arrangements. When I got home I told the hubby about how I was feeling and he just said that we should still should give out candy and maybe being with people would make me feel a little better. That afternoon, I still gave out candy and did have some decorations out. When people came over that night, I just put out the food and drinks because I already had it prepared. It was actually nice because we were all telling stories and laughing and joking over the things that my mom had done over the years. It made it bearable that night.

[PeeWeePinson]

Check your blog, I have posted there too. Well DT, I have buried 2 babies before I was able to have my miracle boy. At first I had the same feelings, was I dishonoring them or was it wrong to create cemetaries, etc. for my haunt? When I finally had my son he was born so premature, but made it, but I handled the care and stress of his birth and disabilities by throwing myself into creating great haunts, props for the haunts, etc. My husband and take donations each year and give at least $1,000.00 each year to the March of Dimes, for which without them I would not have Jacob. There are certain things I do not include in my haunt no matter what and that is anything to do with children (and no, "Children shouldn't play with dead things" does not offend me! smile) I honestly can say I feel my love for Halloween has helped me handle and get through many bad situations in my life because I focus on something I enjoy, haunting. Just my thoughts Buddy, my prayers are with you and your family...

[DeathTouch]

Da Weiner my mom had neuropathy too. But she only had one leg amputated. But I am closer to what you went thru. I am certainly sorry for you loss as well. The good news is I know my mom isn't hurting any more. I tell myself this every day because sometimes I see the negitive side more clearly than the positive. My wife had me goto a councilor last night. I think it helped. I don't feel as run down as I have been. A little tired but not as bad as yesterday. And I still have not been able to push myself to get outside and work on my tombstone. And I know I need too. I know if I were talking to my mom today she would tell me to get my butt outside and work on that tombstone. But I just can't right now. I just can't.

And PeeWee.. I had no idea you had so much loss. I am so sorry. It is one thing to loose someone who is older but another when the life hasn't even had time to know the world yet. It just isn't fair. But my positive thing is you have always been my motivation for cranking out all my Halloween stuff. You are always there to cheer me on and always there to yell at me when I am acting like a two year old. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I remember when Krough was jokingly saying that he wished that he was motivated like me. I guess if he had a friend like you beside him, his Halloween props would had been done already. LOL. Thank you PeeWee!

[Hauntiholik]

DT - As I said in my PM - I'm sorry for your loss.

[DeathTouch]

DT - As I said in my PM - I'm sorry for your loss.


Thank you Hauntiholik. And I am also sorry for you loss as well. You reminded me that I forgot to tell Moon about it.

But I am glad you made it to Unpleasant Street. I know most of these people already know you, but there are alot of newbies here that might not have heard of the great Hauntiholik like I have.

[Hauntiholik]

One of the reasons I didn't want to enter the tombstone contest was that my father-in-law was very ill when FE brought up the contest. It just hits too close to the heart right now.

[DeathTouch]

One of the reasons I didn't want to enter the tombstone contest was that my father-in-law was very ill when FE brought up the contest. It just hits too close to the heart right now.

I understand Hauntiholik. I can't get myself to continue with my tombstone either. It hurts too much. But I know my mother, if she were alive, would pick up the nearest pan-cake turner and beat my but until red, and say "get your lazy but out there and build that tombstone." Even though it is very hard for me to do it. I got home today determinded to get going on it again, but I just couldn't. Maybe tomorrow.

[Hauntiholik]

When the time is right, you'll know. I'm hoping to feel motivated next week.

[DeathTouch]

When the time is right, you'll know. I'm hoping to feel motivated next week.

It might help to get things off your chest on this thread. Everyone here has been so great with me so I know they will be as great with you. If you would like to speak your mind and say what happend, please do. But if you are hurting to much, maybe another day would be best. But it helped me. I am just starting to get over the hurt.

[Hauntiholik]

Um, ok.

My father-in-law was having severe pain in his shoulder and some numbess in his hand. He went to the emergency room and without doing any tests they told him he had bursitis and they sent him home. He started having chills and aches. He was rushed to the emergency room 3 days later when he started to become unresponsive and looked kind of "out to lunch".
They ran tests at that time. His diabetes had wiped out his immune system. He had e. coli and staph. They also found that he had an uncontrolled bleed around his brainstem. They waited a few days before handing the bleeding to let his body fight the infections. He had a stroke just after surgery and he slipped into a coma. After a week his body started to shut down. He died on May 6th. He was 64.

Normally these issues can be overcome but all together is was more than he could handle.

[Vlad]

Hauntiholik, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss as well. You and DT both need to stop feeling the pressure to get back into it. The desire and need to get back to work will come rushing back to you both sooner than you know. And when it does, it'll bring back the joyful memories of those we've lost, and give you even more commitment and happiness than it ever has before. You'll just have to trust the word of someone whose been there.

[Hella]

Hauntaholic,
I am so sorry to hear about your FIL. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[Hauntiholik]

Thanks Vlad and Hella.

I still think about my FIL daily. I can't walk around my house without seeing something that sparks a memory and a feeling of loss.

Tonight was the first night of Hauntcon. I enjoyed the evening and I didn't think about my FIL until I got home tonight. It was a nice escape back to the land of haunting.