Messed up wish list

[SuFiKitten77]

This is a fun one .. the rules are as follows, the first person makes a wish .. the second person "grants" the wish but messes it up .. like the monkey paw. The first person then makes there wish and leaves it at the hands of the next person. I will start it.
I wish it wasnt so hot and humid today

[Zombie-F]

Sub arctic temperatures it is!

I wish it were Halloween already.

This should be a fun game...

[Doctorthingit]

Your wish is my command... But don't look now, the propecy of what is waiting for the children in Halloween III: Season of the Witch will now come to pass, whether they're wearing their masks and watching the Silver Shamrock ad or not.

I wish I didn't hate Nicolas Cage so much.

[Zombie-F]

Your wish is my command! You are now Nicolas Cage's love slave. :p

I wish I had a million dollars.

[Doctorthingit]

Poof! A million dollars will now serve you, but the government wants to know how you got it. They're thinking major tax evasion here... Though I suppose you could be in the mob. Anyone asks, I don't know you.

Your wish is my command! You are now Nicolas Cage's love slave. :p
God, that is repulsive! He'd probably use me to answer his fan letters all day.

I wish candy was more expensive and fruits & vegetables were cheaper.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, candy is now the most expensive food out there and you can buy veggies and fruit for pennies .. and now the FDA has issued new warning's stating all veggies and fruits have been contaminated with a deadly virus and you will die within minutes of eating them. Candy is now the suggested choice.

I wish I had a swimming pool

[Zombie-F]

Global warming is rapidly accelerated and due to the melting of the polar ice caps, the world is now your swimming pool.

I wish I was a famous rock star. :D

[Sinister]

Country Star it is! You and Willie Nelson can both try to shamelessly show your faces at every little event and county fair where the hicks shell out dirt stained, raggedy-ass dollar bills to help the both of you re-pay the IRS for all the tax dodging you've done over the years. :D

I wish I were a millionaire many times over.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you are now richer then you could ever have dreamed of .. you could live 400 years and still not have spent it all. You are sitting in your hot tub with all your material things when then butler comes in and trips over a cord knocking the stereo into the tub electrocuting you.

I wish I had more time in my day.

[dougspaulding]

Time is what you desire, eh? Well, I think that can be arranged. Let's see,...a little dealing with a Mr Bill Z. Bubb and there we have it - you have all the time in the world! Now you can read that stack of books you've been trying to get to for months. And then there's this stack, and that...but you stumble, and break your glasses! Oh, no! It's not fair!

(Shameless rip-off of TZ)

PS: If you don't wear glasses, work with me on this!


No more war.

[Doctorthingit]

No more war? You know what this means, don't you... Granted! But only now do you, and the rest of us, realize how important it was in the first place. World Peace has taken over everything, the military is dismantled. This means a great deal of American males, and some females, have the college population overflowing, the U.S. education system becomes a matter of where to house all the community college kids who can't afford to take a chance with the overblown student ratios at the Ivy League schools, the American youth is becoming restless... Add to this the fact that without military athlete and combat training programs, many young men, and again some women, have to find another way to get out their pent-up aggression. And America's Kumbaya obsession is starting to wear on their nerves. The majority of kids who aren't able to get into great academic programs want to be athletes and before the military was disassembled, there was already a surplus of wannabe jocks and joquettes. Suddenly, things are so Care Bears and Mary Poppins that everyone is sick to death of it, and murdering each other for fun. Even adults begin to get into the spirit.


I wish all my secret High School crushes would meet together and fall off the face of the Earth.

[SuFiKitten77]

You get your wish .. you are standing on a cliff watching them all fall off .. not noticing that there is a rope around your ankle attached to one them and you slip off the edge with them but dont die instantly on impact and die three days later after having bled to death smelling your old crushes start to decompose.

I wish to travel the world

[Zombie-F]

Not specifying which world, you are given a first hand tour of Mercury. Too bad you melted from the overbearingly hot conditions there.

I wish I could eat anything I wanted without gaining weight.

[lipstikgrl]

ok granted but due to atmoshperic changes it plunges to below 0 degrees and you need the extra weight for warmth.

I WISH I HAD A DATE WITH JOHNY DAMON.

[SuFiKitten77]

You get your wish and John Damon shows up at your door to pick you up for a date .. but when you open the door, you see that he has brought his mom along and when she sees you, she doesnt approve and he walks away telling you there was no chance.

I wish my boyfriend and I were already moved into our new house

[Doctorthingit]

Voila, you're all moved in! But now you're newhousebound, held captive by international terrorists who are also in their spare time sadistic killers schooled in Nazi Camp torture methods. What will be your fate? It may be a dentist's drill- "is it safe?"

I wish I could speak all European languages fluently.

[Sinister]

Now you can! There is however one slight catch; for every word you speak, each one of them accurately, correct pronunciaton and dialect but they are different words of different langauges IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

I wish I could go to the concerts of every perfomer or band I always wanted to see but never got a chance to.

[Doctorthingit]

Awwwww, you have a dream... Granted, but you will be a barer of misfortune to every band you see. Exploding amps, self-smashing guitars, bad weather, riots, drug overdoses, static, low-flying airplanes and helicopters, until eventually all the bands break-up. And they'll have you to thank for it. I wonder if they'll each have noticed you at every show... In time, and thanks to security cameras, I bet they will.

I wish I had no idea how to drive a car.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you are now like a monkey having a sezure when you get behind the wheel of your car and everyone you know has moved far away and you have no way to get anywhere.

I wish night time would last longer .. the darkness atleast :D

[Zombie-F]

Granted, but guess what? It turns out, Vampires are real and without the sun to drive them into the depths during the "daytime" they have free reign and now rule the world.

I wish I didn't wake up with a headache today.

[Sinister]

Headache is no longer with you, unfortunately, it is the only thing that isn't aching.

I wish that I ruled the world.

[Zombie-F]

Again, not specifying the world which you are to rule, you are now appointed the ruler of Pluto. Hope you enjoy being flash frozen in the extreme cold.

I wish I didn't hate my job.

[Sinister]

Alas, you didn't specify WHICH JOB you hated, so now the situation is completely reversed. The "job" of creating Halloween props is something you now despise as opposed to the job you really hate which as of now you are just dying to get back to.

The world I wish to rule is Earth.

[Doctorthingit]

The whole wide world is yours... Unfortunately you had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you wished for it. I don't need to twist this one around, you'll find the task grueling enough without my help. Actually, I hereby cast the unhappy-ruler spell, that much I will do to spoil your fun.

I wish that my mother's friend's cat had not have killed my mother's bird, which it did for real.

[Zombie-F]

Done! Most things happen for a reason, and by undoing this act of murder, this bird goes on to lead a bird revolution a-la Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds". Their first target, is you.

I wish I was able to finish my crypt prop this year.

[Doctorthingit]

Would you look at that, the prop is finished as ordered. However, it's just so impressive that everybody is finding it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread. And it gets stolen.

I wish my brother wasn't about to be arrested tomorrow.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, they don't arrest your brother but come and take you away and put you in a asylum for loonies where you are locked in a padded cell not never see daylight again.

I wish I was done moving

[Zombie-F]

Granted, you're done moving, but that's because you've just lost your job, been evicted, and have no home anymore to move stuff to.

I wish I didn't burn my leg with the fog machine on Friday.

[Doctorthingit]

You'll be quite pleased to learn the fog machine didn't burn your leg... A rabid runaway Japanese schoolgirl, foaming at the mouth, toasting everything in sight got you with an industrial-strength flamethrower. I doubt you survived. Your new hobby is handing out towels in locker showers in the Netherworld. Say "hi" to John Candy for me.

I wish I could meet Madonna, under amiable circumstances.

[SuFiKitten77]

You get an invite to join Madonna on one of her yachts in the caribbean. Upon arrival, you find the islands around the yacht have been taken over by rabid birds who have pecked Madonna to death and the meeting never happens.

I wish my side wasnt bothering my today

[Doctorthingit]

It's a miracle, YOU'RE CURED! However, what's menacing you today is Dennis... Dennis Manson, Charles's long-lost brother. This one's not a sociopath, you should be so lucky. He's an insurance salesman!!! No, better yet, he's a paparazzi and he won't stop taking your picture. He's not doing it because you're famous. It's because the law clearly states that this action is not stalking or an invasion of privacy because it's in public. When he uses your image for the cover of porno magazines and websites, that's when you can nab him. But he'll claim insanity, and get off- hey, he's a Manson!

I want to re-wish my last wish. I wished to meet Madonna and I didn't, yet I still had to contend with the psycho birds. What's up with that? Try again.

[SuFiKitten77]

I want to re-wish my last wish. I wished to meet Madonna and I didn't, yet I still had to contend with the psycho birds. What's up with that? Try again.

Granted, you meet Madonna for brunch, the day seems to be going perfect when she has a mental breakdown and attacks you stabbing you with a fork in the face, leaving you blind and severly scared.Better?

I wish my writer's block was gone.

[SuFiKitten77]

I want to re-wish my last wish. I wished to meet Madonna and I didn't, yet I still had to contend with the psycho birds. What's up with that? Try again.

Granted, you meet Madonna for brunch, the day seems to be going perfect when she has a mental breakdown and attacks you stabbing you with a fork in the face, leaving you blind and severly scared.Better?

I wish my writer's block was gone.

[Doctorthingit]

Granted! You can write now. You just can't read. "Are you dumb or soppink??!"

I wish the website www.film-talk.com would CRASH! Or get an incurable computer virus.

[Zombie-F]

Granted. Unfortunately, the virus that disables their servers also spreads and infects every single other computer on the internet. Essentially, Skynet is born and the machines of the world rise up and wipe out humanity.

I wish Hollywood would stop with the remakes already.

[Doctorthingit]

Granted! Only, now the trend du jour are hundreds of movies ABOUT Hollywood studios only making remakes of older movies, TV shows, video games, and reality shows. It's actually so popular, that there are no more movie stars and the public only want to see no-name actors playing boardroom executives remaking remakes of remakes.

I wish I couldn't sing well.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you now can't sing well .. but you are also unable to speak and become paralyzed and are unable to use your hands to sign.

I wish people would drive better.

[Doctorthingit]

Granted! However, they now drive so well that traffic jams are more than twice as common, so now they're everywhere. In small towns as well as big. Plus, to keep up with the demand, the law is changed so that now 13 and 14 year old's can have valid driver's licenses. More drivers equals more cars and more cars on the road equals more traffic. Parking lots are packed and no one can get out, everyone is late for everything, and though we are now a nation of better drivers, we're not handling this very well. It won't be long before violent riots erupt.

I wish that fast internet connections were dirt-cheap.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, it now is as cheap as lunch at Burger King .. you are so thrilled that you go to get up from in front of your computer where you heard the news from an email from a friend .. you knock your drink over shorting out your computer, and sad to say .. you don't have the money to replace or fix it.

I wish I had the money to repaint my Blazer.

[Doctorthingit]

Ka-Ching! Now that you have the money and have repainted your Blazer (and don't it look so nice?), what are you going to do? Buy a new one. Because someone dun stolded yerz after U made it look so gosh-darn pertty. I hope you didn't buy the expensive kind of paint, you might just have enough moola left over.

I wish everyone would stop trying to be like me, the groupies are circling!

[Zombie-F]

Granted. Now the whole world hates you to the point you can no longer go out without being threatened by violence. You eventually die of starvation because you can't go out and nobody will help you.

I wish I hadn't slipped on the stairs Thursday morning.

[Doctorthingit]

One back-to-the-past ticket it is. However, this little rip in the time-space continuom accidentally brings about a case of immortality, ala-Death Becomes Her. So now, you can't die or age a single day. But you can still be hurt... Your body can and will fall apart if you're in any kind of accident. Your pieces will live on if your body is ever maimed, even your ashes if your body is ever burnt. And you cannot live in one place for longer than 10 years or else people will get suspicious (beware the IRS and the census bureau) and naturally, they'll want to conduct experiments on you. What kind of life would that be. And that's if you're lucky, really. The other option is that people will consider you a freak and try to kill you by shooting your head to pieces or burning your body into those ashes. How much fun is it going to be watching the end of the world if you're already a pile of gray matter??

I wish honesty would no longer hurt peoples' feelings.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, honesty no longer hurts anyone's feelings .. but that is because everyone has been melted by a radiation blast from a fallen meteor.

I wish a certain guy I knew would learn to relax and not be so serious all the time

[Zombie-F]

Granted. The guy is now so relaxed he can't move thanks to a muscular condition rendering him immobile.

I wish I wasn't hungry right now.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you are now feeling full .. but sad to say you are now never hungry and everytime you try to eat you get severe pains in your stomach and throw up what little you get down. Soon you waste away and end up in the hospital where they are trying to find a cure for your mysterious illness.

I wish I could teleport anywhere I want when I want.

[Sinister]

Done and Done! However, when you arrive at your desired destination all hell is breaking loose and it will never get any better but worse the more you teleport.

I wish that I owned a Ferrari.

[Zombie-F]

Granted. You now have a Ferrari. Though, it is over 40 years old and beat to shit. You need to take out a sizable loan -- one that only the mob is willing to give out -- to fix it. Months later, after many broken legs and arms, they finally fit you for concrete shoes.

I wish tomorrow wasn't a work day.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you find you have slipped into some portal where you keep reliving today and you never have to work again .. sad to say, you also loose money and become broke.

I wish that skunk under my porch would go away

[dougspaulding]

Skunk does go away - only he goes on top of your porch, sprays your doormat, and then dies on it.

I wish we were all more understanding of our fellow folks.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, we are all more understanding and the world seems to be moving along more smoothly .. until the aliens land and we agree and understand there reasons for wanting to kill us and they do.

I wish I had a bigger driveway

[Doctorthingit]

Granted. But now it's so big that the town declares all extra space no longer your property, so your yard is turned into a parking lot for the mini-mall they plan to build nearby...on even more of the extra driveway you have. Time to call the realtor.

I wish people would stop believing in damn aliens, I'm sick of hearing about them.

[dougspaulding]

Nobody believes in aliens anymore - and that's their strength! They bide their time, and then they attack, destroying the earth. Our lack of belief lulled us into a false sense of security.

I wish Mr Bradbury would give me permission to adapt "Dandelion Wine" for the screen, as I have asked for. I further wish it would become a well loved successful adaptation.

[Non Compos Mentis]

I wish that we would not have to pay taxes. The money we pay in taxes doesn't even go where its supposed to. Its all a sham.

[Doctorthingit]

I wish Mr Bradbury would give me permission to adapt "Dandelion Wine" for the screen, as I have asked for. I further wish it would become a well loved successful adaptation.
Granted, oh creative one. However, he doesn't like your adaptation at all and neither do his hardcore fans, who launch a protest against your film. It doesn't really hurt the film though, since apparently it's a huge hit with families- the next Lord of the Rings / Harry Potter. But it's such a big hit, that by the end of your career in moviemaking, you begin to resent it.

I wish that we would not have to pay taxes. The money we pay in taxes doesn't even go where it's supposed to. It's all a sham.
Granted, and since I've already messed up one wish in this post, I'm going to leave this one as it is since I really wish for the same thing.

Furthermore, I wish President Bush (Jr.) would have a MISERABLE time on all of his future vacations.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, everytime President Bush Jr. heads out on vacation, wherever he chooses to go, Mother Nature send the worst weather you can imagine to where he is and he always gets sick and is stuck in bed the whole vacation.

I wish it was Fall already

[Doctorthingit]

It is now fall... only with the same heat and humidity as summer. Pray for an early winter

I wish I could meet someone famous for my Birthday, but not Madonna (she's recovering - GET WELL SOON!)

[Omega]

You meet Shelley Duvall, and have the worst birthday just even spending one second with her.

I wish I could get my demo recorded already!

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, your demo has been recorded .. but sadly, no one in interested and it becomes a waste of money.

I wish I had a maid

[Zombie-F]

Granted. You have a maid but she steals everything from you one day and disappears from the face of the earth with all your valuables.

I wish my house hadn't been worked on by weekend warriors before I owned it.

[Non Compos Mentis]

My wish for banning Doctorthingit has come true.
On a side note...I wish that the gas prices will start going down.

[Zombie-F]

My wish for banning Doctorthingit has come true.
On a side note...I wish that the gas prices will start going down.

You have to grant my wish, but with a dark twist before you can cast your own wish NCM.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, the gas prices go down .. but your car's engine dies and you are unable to get it fixed and you have no need for gas now.

I wish school for my son had started already (driving me nuts!)

[Non Compos Mentis]

Granted. You have a maid but she steals everything from you one day and disappears from the face of the earth with all your valuables.

I wish my house hadn't been worked on by weekend warriors before I owned it.

My bad. :o Granted. But your house was worked on by illegal immigrants and they steal your identity and do heinous things in your name.

[Zombie-F]

ok, I'm gonna do Sufikitten's wish and we'll continue from there...

Granted. School's started for your son, but he's driving the teachers nuts now and gets kicked out of school, leaving him home with you again... driving you even more nuts.

I wish I didn't have heartburn tonight. Blech.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you now have no heartburn .. but you have severe diariah and are unable to get anything accomplished from being stuck on the toilet :D Aren't you lucky?

I wish I my dog hadn't gotten sprayed by a skunk (gag)

[Non Compos Mentis]

As you wish. But your dog gets attacked by a coyote and the remains of the dog are scattered throughout the yard.

My wish is to be the host of the Headbangers Ball.

[dougspaulding]

And so it is, but during the festivities, someone acccidentally bangs you in the head with a blunt instrument, and now you're permanent host of the Thursday night sing-along at the local mental institution.

I wish I could find an original copy of "Dark Carnival" this weekend when I traverse the city in search of used book stores, and for a very reasonable price!

[Sinister]

Granted. You find your copy of Dark Carnival in mint condition and the price is dirt cheap because the bookstore that's selling it is going out of business and has to get rid of everything on their shelves. Alas, as you are walking out of the bookstore a purse snatcher who has just stolen some old lady's purse runs headlong into you, knocking the book out of your hand which sails over the edge of the sidewalk, into the street and right into the path of an eighteen wheeler. The street is very busy in front of the bookstore and you can only lay helplessly on the sidewalk and watch with horror as your treasure is mauled and ruined by the heavy flow of rush hour traffic.

Along the same lines as Doug's ill-fated wish, I wish I could become a famous author.

(On a totally unrelated subject, I would just like to state that this is my 1,000th post! I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that particular fact. But, if it had to happen anywhere I would just like to say it was a pleasure for it to be on a post that was in answer to one posted by my best friend in the world. Okay, all of the mushiness and accolades on a useless pinnacle in my life out of the way, we can now move on with the game. Bad Fairy, what unfortunate stroke of luck can I expect with my wish?)

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, your novel becomes published and the bookstores can't keep copies on the shelf and you are now very famous. You have become so famous, you now have a crazed stalker who finds where you live and kidnaps you and you now find yourself in a dark basement where your stalker goes "Misery" on your ass :D

I wish I could travel more

[Sinister]

You get to travel more! Unfortunately, it's all work related with absolutely no time for fun or sight-seeing. In fact, everything is scheduled so tightly, you barely have time to get something to eat before you have to board your next flight.

I wish I could be a famous director.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you are now a famous Director who's career is cut short by a unfortunate plane crash - that sucks

I wish my bedroom was finished

[Non Compos Mentis]

Granted. But your roof gives in during a heavy rain storm and your house gets flooded.

I wish that I never existed.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted .. now who made the wish to have never existed??

I wish night's lasted longer.

[dougspaulding]

Done and done. Now nights last so long that they're met at the end of the night by the next night. All things flourishing in sunlight now die. The world is no longer a beautiful place.

I wish last night's lasted longer. :googly:

(Kidding - I'm kidding!)

[dougspaulding]

Who will now twist my wish into something dreadful - or is it untwistable? Does that mean I won?!

[claymud]

Granted, now night lasts so long you never wake up.

-I wish I had a sandwitch

[Zombie-F]

Granted, you now have a sandwich... a knuckle sandwich. A bunch of thugs beat you up and take your lunch money. :p

I wish I didn't have to finish painting the dining room today.

[Mollins]

granted you no longer have to paint it, because your house has burnt down

i wish i had loads of money

[Sinister]

You got it, young man! One morning you awaken to the sound of a very large truck backing up to your side of the house you sleep in. Before you can get the grogginess shaken out, the back end of a dump truck smashes through your bedroom wall and proceeds to bury you under an endless rain of pennies, nickles, dimes and quarters. You die rich but what a way to go.

I wish I didn't have to deal with insurance companies anymore.

[ScareFX]

Granted. The federal government will now reimburse you whenever you break or lose something. Unfortunately the tax rate is 99.9% and you can't buy anything anymore.

I wish there more time before Halloween 2005.

[Dr Morbius]

Alakazam! ..The leaders of the world have added a 13th month to the year, between September and October, called "Octembruary". This offsets the seasons, which, in time, causes Halloween to fall somewhere in what we remembered to be July..It is so hot, that no one can bear to wear costumes, Pumpkins are no longer in season, and trick or treaters are forced to get Ice cream cones and Otter pops in thier bags.

People get sick and tired of Halloween and it disappears forever.


I wish gas wasn't so expensive!

[Sinister]

It isn't anymore! Your wish is granted! However, I'm afraid that when it was expensive that someone came up with an inexpensive alternative fuel source and automobiles were mechanically altered to accomodate the transition...except for your vehicle. Now you're stuck with it, and they aren't offering you a recall and the new models are so expensive that no one can afford them. So you're stuck with an old auto and not a gas source in sight because all stations only serve this new type of fuel.

I wish people wouldn't use cellular phones for every aspect in their lives, especially when they're driving.

[Dr Morbius]

Granted!

Everyone, including yourself, now have communication chips implanted into thier brains,rendering cellphones obsolete. While driving one day, you are cut off, rather rudely, by a burley man with a bad temper. Your immediate and violent thoughts are transmitted to him, causing him to to react by cutting you off, stopping you both, getting out of his car and shooting you.

I wish everyday was Halloween.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, everyday is now Halloween .. which causes a world wide chaos with all the holy rollers thinking Satan has come to take over and all the world leaders panic and press the button and destroy the earth.

I wish some people could be more trusting and less paranoid

[Dr Morbius]

Granted..

without specifying which people should be more trusting and less paranoid, only a handful of people now have this trait. One of them is you.

You see a squirrel in the park one day, and decide to trust it's nature by petting it. You catch Rabies. Trusting the medical community, you hitch-hike your way to the hospital, and a car stops. A raving lunatic salivates while eyeing you, and with blind trust you gladly get in his car. He hacks you into a million trusting, less paranoid pieces.

I wish I was president of the USA.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you are now president of the USA, and in your second day in the office you get assasinated by some religious folks and never get to put in effect the 3 week long Halloween holiday that you had used to get you elected and which is also the reason you were assasinated.

I wish my animals would never get fleas or ticks again

[Haasmama]

Viola! You have found the perfect medication to prevent your lovlies from getting eaten alive by fleas and ticks. Lyme Disease is no longer in your vocabulary and those ugly collars are in the trash! HOWEVER the med has a tasty little tidbit that attracts mosquito's by the millions. Your pets and yourself are being sucked nearley dry by the tiny little vampires, forcing you to move to Antartica! (Haunted Igloos?)

I wish I had a self maintaining lawn! (No more leaves, tall grass or dog crap)

[Dr Morbius]

Presto!

Your lawn becomes a living topiary of a goat that eats itself.

No leaves,tall grass,dogcrap...and no lawn.


I wish Coke tasted like Pepsi

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, Pepsi now taste like Coke but everything else you decide to eat or drink taste like cat crap .. atleast you got your Coke tasting Pepsi ;)

I wish it took a long time for me to get tired

[claymud]

Alacazamo, but now you can't seem to ever get tired and wonder around all the time, awake.

I wish I didn't get my head stuck in the freazer... again.

[Dr Morbius]

Your evil Genie has heard your request, and with a puff of acrid smoke, you are transported back from the time you stuck your head in the freezer..again, to the first time you stuck your head in the freezer.

It has been there ever since, and you now your head is frozen solid.

I wish Pumpkins could carve themselves.

[Sinister]

the pumpkins now carve themselves. Their evil grins are filled with absolute malice as they take those self-same knives they used on themselves, they now turn on you and there is no where to run, for they are on all sides and coming out of the woodwork.

I wish my bills were all paid off.

[Haasmama]

Bills? What bills? Dead men tell no tales, well, dead men have no bills. You cant take money with you when you die anyway. The only problem is that while you were still on this earth, kicking your heels and having a grand ole time, you forgot to pay back the "small" loan that you got from the Mafia. (How did you think you died anyway?) Your family, and your family's family is now on the run, trying to keep themselves alive because the "bill" is still due.

I wish I didn't have such a two-faced, bitchy co-worker.

[ScareFX]

Granted... The coworker now has one face and is dead. Unfortunately they are a zombie now and stalk you relentlessly. Your brain is consumed when you go to the restroom at work.

I wish I could weld.

[Dr Morbius]

Presto Weldo! You are a welding wizard! You are obsessed with welding, welding everything you see.You weld your car doors shut, and start walking everywhere there is metal to weld.

While crossing the street you cannot resist welding your steel-toe boots to a manhole cover. You find yourself in a shoving match with a Mack truck. The truck wins. You are now a permanant part of the manhole cover.

I wish I had a professional haunt.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you now have a Professional Haunt ... in it's first week of being open it is so scary four people drop dead from heart attacks and you are closed down and thrown in jail on Accidental Manslaughter where you are roomed with one of the victims brothers who kills you for causing him more anguish.

I wish I could repaint my house

[Dr Morbius]

Granted!

You CAN repaint your house! You repaint it over and over and over..
In fact, you never stop, and eventualy die from the paint fumes.

I wish more people played this game.

[dougspaulding]

Alrighty then, more folks are playing - so many in fact that it slows down the website to an excruciating speed (even for those of us with cable!)

And as we know, slow speeds are the devil!

I wish I could go to Houston and fly to the stars (though I may not have the right stuff to make the trip to Mars)

[Dr Morbius]

Granted! You go to Houston the first chance you get..

While in Texas, you encounter hurricane Rita and are swept by the 175 mph winds into the stratosphere, where you die from lack of oxygen.

You never make it to Mars.

I wish my cat could talk

[Haasmama]

Me-ow you finally ask the cats for its opinion! You kitty thinks that because s/he is not happy with the kind of grub you have been feeding her and refuse to conceed to his/her request, she is going to be very un-friendly to you. You need to be careful what you ask for because now that your kitty can talk and be understood, all those little, embarassing things you do when you think no body is looking have just been broadcast to the neighborhood.

I wish that I was a horror movie diva.

[dougspaulding]

While in Texas, you encounter hurricane Rita and are swept by the 175 mph winds into the stratosphere, where you die from lack of oxygen.

I didn't necessarily mean today!

[Dr Morbius]

I didn't necessarily mean today!


Be careful what you wish for!!HAHA!

[Dr Morbius]

Me-ow you finally ask the cats for its opinion! You kitty thinks that because s/he is not happy with the kind of grub you have been feeding her and refuse to conceed to his/her request, she is going to be very un-friendly to you. You need to be careful what you ask for because now that your kitty can talk and be understood, all those little, embarassing things you do when you think no body is looking have just been broadcast to the neighborhood.

I wish that I was a horror movie diva.


Poof! You are now Jamie Lee Curtis....Nuff said.


I wish my cemetery fence was done.

[claymud]

allazamdamdozaoa, your cematary fence was done, but that was the last thing and you were bord so you do it again and again until finaly it gets feed up with being redone and leaves...

I wish it wasn't so hard to find a copy of JAWS IN THE MOVIE STORES!!! (DVD)

[HibLaGrande]

poof! A nice new pair of pop bottle rim glasses has been surgicaly attached to your face.

I wish I owned a 2005 ford GT

[Dr Morbius]

Alaka-ZOOM!

After spending your life savings, and giving up friends and family, you are now the proud owner of a 2005 Ford GT! Since you can't afford a house, or rent, or anything else, your GT is now your home...where you eventually starve to death. Without any money for a casket, you are buried in it.

I wish more people used the new Chat room here

[crazyryan]

ZA-ZOOM! Everybody is using the chatroom and you win the Nobel Peace prize, but then an elephant sits on you.

I wish the Toronto Maple Leafs were destroyed

[Haasmama]

NEWSFLASH!!! The Toronto Maple Leafs were killed in a flaming plane crash while enroute to Phoenix for their next game. In memory of the tragedy, various childrens hockey leagues around the world decide to take the name as their own to honor the fallen players. Now, there are too many "Toronto Maple Leafs teams in the world and mass confusion ensues....

I wish I could make a wish that would really get granted. :p

[crazyryan]

Your wish is granted. Except this wish was worth nothin so every wish ever made was granted on you, and you died with a large pink hat on and a green dress on with a $100 hankercheif in your pocket.

I wish i had an Xbox 360

[dougspaulding]

...and you died with a large pink hat on and a green dress on with a $100 hankercheif in your pocket.

I wish i had an Xbox 360

You are Crazy!

You also now have an Xbox 360. But the question remains, why?


I wish I could hurry and finish this Bachelor's Degree (and maintain my Summa Cum Laude)

(I said cum)

[crazyryan]

You are Crazy!


Read the name Doug..CRAZYryan

Your wish is granted, but u were found cheating on all parts. You were fined and kicked out. Then you ate a rabbit. Turns out that rabbit has rabbies and you died.

I wish Z came before A in the alphabet

[claymud]

Bamo- your wish is granted but now the basis of the english language is destroyed and everyone is sent back to kindergarden. The world collpases and everyone tries to reciet their favroit song... none can.


I wish the impending Potato take over wasn't soo soon

[HibLaGrande]

Wahhh ahhhhh! <- (angelic chior sound) Hostile potatoes everywhere remain as they where. French fries and potatoe chips are consumed by the tons. However, the potatoes lack of aggression causes desention among the legumes and the radishes soon take thier place within the power vaccuum. Not to be outdone ,the carrots announce their secret nuclear program and threaten all life on the planet. In a mad dash to save humanity scientist around the world set loose all the labratory rabbits who in turn quickly devour all vegitation on earth. The lab specimens then breed and mutate into carnivors with ravenous hunger for human flesh. Giant vorpal bunnies now command top billing on the food chain.

I wish I didn't spend the last few minutes writing this.

[Dr Morbius]

granted


Today, 05:19 PM
claymud
Uneasy Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Halifax Nova Scoita, in the Great white north of CANADA
Age: 15
Posts: 75




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bamo- your wish is granted but now the basis of the english language is destroyed and everyone is sent back to kindergarden. The world collpases and everyone tries to reciet their favroit song... none can.


I wish the impending Potato take over wasn't soo soon
__________________
All the Bacon in the world couldn't save you now... not from the LAZOR!!!

[crazyryan]

Abra Jumiji! You wish is done. But in your life the most terrible thing has happened. All the Potatoes in the world have been destroyed so that means their is no more for you to eat. And with no potatoes Ketchup has lost alot of money and has all Ketchup factorys shut down. As the millions more then usall tomatoes sit on the vines it infects a diese to the one beside it. And beside it. Until all the vegtibles in the world are gone and their cousins are mad (Fruit) and kill the 1 person who made the wish.


I wish it was christmas

[claymud]

granted, your wish is done... but to do that it would have to skip halloween and eveyone here and young chilrden everywere are mad because they didn't get their candy!!


I wish I had something to wish for

[crazyryan]

Your wish is granted. You can wish 4 a pony the next time you come on. But who knows, that pony might be EVIL!!!

I wish for Ottawa To Win The Stanley Cup and they wont die or the cup wont be taken away from them.

[scarface]

Granted the Blue Jays will win the World Series!

I wish I had really long arms, man I hope you mess this up the right way!!

[Haasmama]

hmmmmm....

Really long arms are now yours, but now you have to compensate for the excess elsewhere and other parts of your body are now hideously shrunken. That's okay though, because you do have really long arms, and are able to compensate in many imaginable ways.

I wish that I had unlimited cash.

[crazyryan]

BAZOO! You get the cash and by everything...well almost. After a year or so you get bored so u buy an exucutor of Ebay and well... ur dead.


I wish i was purple

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you are eating out at a restaurant and start to choke on your meal .. now you are a lovely shade of purple.

I wish I wouldn't have to move again

[Dr Morbius]

Abra-ca-mortis!

You find yourself in your new home..It is quite small, however, and there is no light..You strike a match, (not easy in such a cramped spot,) and discover you are surrounded by silk and satin...and no way out...You scratch at your casket roof, and scream for help...untill you never move again.

I wish a good horror movie was playing on TV right now.

[crazyryan]

GRANTED! On comes the ultimate horror movie. But a crazy guy from another country comes in and takes out you eyes and yells- KOLLA IS COMING, AHHH! I dont think that has any importance but now you cant see the TV and watch the movie. Be careful what u wish 4.


I wish I was Spiderman

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you are now spiderman .. but sad to say scientist discover this and kidnap you and perform nasty experiments on you to discover how you have all your powers and if it can be duplicated.

I wish I was in London

[dougspaulding]

You're in London - during the reign of terror by Jack the Ripper. Although a respectable Kitten, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, and are ripped!

I wish I could get around to finishing putting away my study.

[Dr Morbius]

Poof!

You are a study-putter-away-wizard!

You are finished putting your study away and it collapses under it's own weight.

You are buried alive under "study stuff".

I wish :googly: for infinite smileys

[dougspaulding]

You now have infinite smilies - that's punishment enough!

[crazyryan]

You did not wish a wish so you are banished for the rest of your days to work at an old persons home for people who dont have seeing, hearing, mobiltiy and the mute all in 1.


I wish someone can tell what im thinking right now

[dougspaulding]

You did not wish a wish...

I wish someone can tell what im thinking right now

Just wasn't paying attention, I guess. Maybe next time.

Someone does tell you what you're thinking, but their insight into your mind frightens you to the point of paranoia. You spend your days in this state.

[crazyryan]

Just wasn't paying attention, I guess. Maybe next time.


Good job at making the wish. You turn into a pimple on Micheal Jacksons face.

I wish i had the leafs suck audio file from this site- http://leafssuck.ca/Playoffs

[dougspaulding]

Good job at making the wish. You turn into a pimple on Micheal Jacksons face.

I wish i had the leafs suck audio file from this site- http://leafssuck.ca/Playoffs

I must have forgot again. I'll try to do better.

You now have the file but it's full of viruses - and you don't have a mac!

I wish I had a new Apple 2.5GHz Dual G5 8x SuperDrive with a 30 inch DVI Cinema HD Display.

[crazyryan]

First of all. CONGRATULATIONS! You finally remembered. Your wish is granted, but to get it, u sold ur soul to the devil.


I WISH I HAD 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000 fluffy hats.

[dougspaulding]

You now have as many headwear as you asked for. Problem is you're covered by them and suffocate (a horrible way to go).

I wish I could get off this board and go to lunch.

[crazyryan]

your wish is granted but, u go to lunch and someone already ate it. You go physco and live in a padded room 4 ever.

i wish unpleasent street also focused on christmas too

[Dr Morbius]

KAPOW!

Unpleasant Street is now Pleasant Street..Featuring How-to's on building your own Elf props and Santa workshops..WAIT! ZombieF just changed his name to Z-Frosty!...Ohhh the pain of it all....Right below the Betty Crocker Christmas cookie forum is a link to Martha Stewarts home page..The HUMANITY!!

This just in..Z-Frosty's Gingerbread House prop is almost completed...

I..I just can't go on...

I wish I could get the Frosty Christmas cheer image out of my head.

[claymud]

You get the frosty image of christmas outta your head... but all the Martha Steweredisms got stuck in your head and now you'r running around making doylies and such.

I wish I could think of a new page for my site.

[crazyryan]

You didnt specifify wich site, u have 2. Both sites are shut down 4 good.



I wish it was Oct.5

[dougspaulding]

It is October 5th - and your team loses (badly!).

I wish the Gators beat 'Bama this Saturday.

[Dr Morbius]

Granted.

Without Specifying which kind of 'Gators, an army of monster sized Alligators eat the entire state of Alabama..The game is cancelled..along with a bunch of other things.

I wish I had a watermelon.

[crazyryan]

Granted, but now ur head is a watermelon.


I wish i was a MADGYUeTFDYTSFW646hTFDYUSF^YTWD

[Dr Morbius]

Your wish is my command..

You are now "MADGYUeTFDYTSFW646hTFDYUSF^YTWD", which, coincidently, is also the name of an Alien race hell bent on destroying Earth. After being discovered, MADGYUeTFDYTSFW646hTFDYUSF^YTWD , you are taken to Area 51 and disected.

I wish for an unending supply of Pizza, which doesn't result in my death.

[dougspaulding]

The pizza pies don't kill you, they just give you an unending supply of heartburn (those things'll lay on your chest!).

I wish California would secede and form their own country.

[scarface]

Your wish is granted BUT when all is final an earthquake comes and busts off the entire state. Leaving only a few islands left. The islands are called Dougless because they are named after the person who died the most gruesome death during the quake. Nice work!!

I wish my nose would quit running.

[Dr Morbius]

Presto!

In order for your nose to quit running, it had to have been running in the first place..which is why it fell of your face and sprouted legs. Your nose now stands before you, motionless.

I wish telemarketers would stop calling.

[crazyryan]

your wish is granted...but it took an odd twist. Telemarketers stoped calling because you became one and they just keep handing you forms that u can fill out.

I wish I had a new random saying

[Dr Morbius]

Fizzlebroz!

Your new random saying is: "I wish I would fall onto a stampede of Lemmings."

This counts as a wish, and you are carried over a cliff by a mob of suicidal Lemmings.

I wish Vampires were real..And I don't want to become one, nor do I wish to encounter one in any way.

[crazyryan]

granted. Vampires are real. But you fall asleep and never wake up. Why. Dont no.


I wish i had a BETTER random saying than the 1 above

[Dr Morbius]

Grunted...


your new random sying: "Does bat thing into toilet ring drive south into pizza parlors while waves of harmonicas blow in the wind?"

This is phoneticlly similar to an encantation that summons the demon Sirell from the depths of hell. He grabs you and takes into the neather regions, kicking and screaming.

I wish for a Hybrid car

[crazyryan]

you got it. a hybird car.

i wish someone will finish this- how it goes wrong

[HibLaGrande]

Due to ground breaking biomechanical hybridization technology. You are now the proud owner of the "Leviathan SGX 6" a sporty sperm whale on wheels.Complete with one-off custom 198 inch wheels,High flow intake and custom rezonating blow hole. Not only does this baby run on water, It runs under water.
While cruising the northern atlantic you are hapooned by a chinese fishing vessel. Once aboard the "Long Duc Dong" your car is sent to market and you are turned over to chinese military officials and executed for spying then sent to market as well..

I wish I could have a cool car like that.

[Dr Morbius]

Granted!
Due to ground breaking biomechanical hybridization technology. You are now the proud owner of the "Leviathan SGX 6" a sporty sperm whale on wheels.Complete with one-off custom 198 inch wheels,High flow intake and custom rezonating blow hole. Not only does this baby run on water, It runs under water.
While cruising the northern atlantic you are hapooned by a chinese fishing vessel. Once aboard the "Long Duc Dong" your car is sent to market and you are turned over to chinese military officials and executed for spying then sent to market as well..

I wish I knew how to use chop sticks

[crazyryan]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! You learn how to use chopsticks and you as a bonus, learn how to infect SARS into bunnies and Elephants, Gorillas and blue turtles.

I wish everyone cheered for the senators while they win the cup and the sens or i dont die and no damage is done to the Stanley Cup

[Dr Morbius]

Uhh. I don't feel like playing this game anymore.

[dougspaulding]

I wish the Gators beat 'Bama this Saturday.

Well - so much for that wish!

[HibLaGrande]

well, so much for this thread.:confused:

[Dr Morbius]

?

[HibLaGrande]

No wish to respond to.

[SuFiKitten77]

I wish I could fly

Here's a wish for you HiblaGrande

[HibLaGrande]

(ZAPOOWIE) you are Bot-fly.


I wish my wifes herniated disk was cured.:(

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, her herniated disk is finally healed .. but when you guys are horsing around .. you slip and fall pulling her with you where she hits her head and bleeds to death.

I wish I had more money.

[Mollins]

granted!

you wake up in the morning then find out that you have millions of dollars!
so you go out and buy a house and a building for haunting and lots of pro haunting stuff, then you find out the money was put into the wrong account and it has now been removed, and the bank send round some people to collect the money you have spent, only to be told you dont have it and so break your knee caps.

I wish i had the worlds best haunt.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you now are have a world famous haunt, everyone knows about it and travels far to enjoy it. One day you have a bus full of children pull up, they all get so scared they die from fright and you are thrown in jail for mulitple counts of manslaughter .. once in jail you slip in the shower fall, crack your head open and die instantly.

I wish it was Friday

[Dr Morbius]

Granted..

It is now Friday..November 4th. You missed Halloween.

I wish I could get rid of my noisy neighbors

[HibLaGrande]

Granted: You are now forced against your will to get rid of your neighbors. you grab a knife from the kitchen drawer and make your way to the neighbors back door.You knock. As the door open you can see the frightened expression on the face of the punk kid that answers the door. Your hand comes up and the knife clinched in your white knuckle fist darts downward. You have no control your mind screams "NO" But it won't stop it.Will not stop it.Can't stop it. The kids throat bursts in a crimson plume. you make your way through the house with the same cold murdeous speed. until none are left alive. you are shot by police as you leave the house.

I wish to be a god.

[Dr Morbius]

biblecadabra..

Witout specifying which God, you are now the Sun..Once worshiped as a god, you watch for millenia the planets of our solar system revolve around you..you can feel cosmic debris pelting you, and every once in a while, you flare up with anger from the eternal boredom. Eventually you supernova and explode.

I wish to end world hunger, without killing anyone.


Granted: You are now forced against your will to get rid of your neighbors. you grab a knife from the kitchen drawer and make your way to the neighbors back door.You knock. As the door open you can see the frightened expression on the face of the punk kid that answers the door. Your hand comes up and the knife clinched in your white knuckle fist darts downward. You have no control your mind screams "NO" But it won't stop it.Will not stop it.Can't stop it. The kids throat bursts in a crimson plume. you make your way through the house with the same cold murdeous speed. until none are left alive. you are shot by police as you leave the house.

I wish to be a god.


I sometimes wish that WOULD happen! LOL (not my wish..See above)

[maxcarnage]

granted:

One evening in an experiment in the basement, you discover a formula that makes unfertile soil grow tremendous plants, and fertile soil, even bigger ones....in only one night, and without water. In kindness, you give the formula away to everybody, and nobodies hungry ever again....Eventually the planet has so much extra food left over, that it begins to rot, then a side effect is discovered...after the food rots, the land is forever barren, and will grow nothing...eventually, everything dies, and all of mankind has to resort to cannibalism to survive

I wish I was the greatest special effects artist in the world

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, you now make the best special effects .. people call you from all over to create FX for them. While creating a new FX for a customer, you fall asleep with the sodering iron which is touching a plastic mask you made and it starts a fire and you and all your great FX burn to the ground.

I wish I didn't have to move again.

[ScareFX]

Granted...You have been flash frozen by liquid nitrogen.

I wish for three more wishes.

[crazyryan]

granted..o wait. Im an evil genie with a knife. Ur dead.

I wish Everyone hated the Toronto Maple Leafs with no Twists tied on

[HibLaGrande]

Ok now everybody in the known universe will hate the Maple leafs the next time they are out on the ice wearing twist ties.

I wish my hair didn't look like I just combed it with a piece of buttered toast.:D

[claymud]

Granted... Your hair now looks like you just fought Jam tost.

I wish I had more time

[HibLaGrande]

(Honk Honk) a truck load of Time magazine has just arrived at your house.

I wish for a +4 holy avenger! LOL

[scarface]

granted you now have a 74 pinto.

I wish it would cool down here.

[kevin242]

Granted. Unfortunately, the sudden change in the weather causes sweeping global climate change rendering the whole of the northern US and Canada into Hoth-like conditions. The Packers are forced to move to Albuquerque, where they change their name to the Albuquerque Prairie Dogs and never win another championship... ever.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

[scarface]

Your boss calls and says that there was an electrical problem but this means that everyone will have to work this weekend. NOT only on saturday but on sunday morning also, only till noon though.

I wish that I could get off my ass and be productive today.

[HibLaGrande]

ShaaaaZAAMM! You are afflicted with the worlds most horrid case of hemroids making the act of sitting impossible. But on the lighter side... the infected tissue has produced several buckets of thick yellow and green chunky pus.


I wish for better employment

[ScareFX]

Granted! You now make $400,000 per year (about the same as dubya). Unfortunately your job is cleaning up huge buckets of thick yellow and green pus from the infected hemroids of Unpleasant Street members.

I wish my infected hemroids would go away.

[kevin242]

(harp strings) Done. It's a miracle! Your Proctologist has never seen a case like it! He wins "Healer of the Year" and has several articles about your case written up in the New England Journal of Medicine and becomes a national hero. Unfortunately, every proctologist in the world now has an autographed 8x10 glossy photo of your bunghole hanging in their waiting room... how em-"bare-ass" ing!

[kevin242]

I wish I were taller...

[HibLaGrande]

Abra-kapokus!(Bling) you are now a giraffe. hey those lions look hungry!

I wish my house was clean.

[Drakemir]

While you are out, robbers break in and steal EVERYTHINg including the carpet and all furniture. Your house is now spotless of everything dirt included.

I wish I had more time so I could build all these damn cool props I found when I joined here!

[kevin242]

Granted! You are wrongly accused of a heinous crime and sent to State Prison for 856 consecutive life terms (without the possibility of parole). The other inmates vote you to be in charge of the annual "Death Row Halloween Cotillion" where you spend the rest of your days thinking up new and terrifying props that have no materials that one could possibly fashion a shank from...

I wish for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

[Drakemir]

Luck as have it! you find an old printing press and start making your self some funny money.. ONE MILLION DOLLARS worth.. unfortantly you were caught trying to buy one stick of gum with a 100 dollar bill at a quickie mart. You are now serviving quite a few life sentances right next to yours truley. Since we dont have any fake props we have to resort to using inmates for skeletons..

I wish that I could figure out how to make decent tombstones for no money..

[claymud]

Granted, but as it turns out the tombstones don't last too long, as you put them out they turn to dust.

I wish that MASH was still running... lik new stuff.

[crazyryan]

ok. But u have to specifify, MASH potatoes are still runnung outta your nose.


I wish BOOYAH!!!!!!

[kevin242]

Your wish is granted, but wait... nothing has happened! Perhaps because "BOOYAH" doesn't really mean anything... faced with the overwhelming truth of this and by summarily wasting your one and only wish, you go completely mad, spending the rest of your days locked in a sanitarium muttering nonsense... :googly:

I wish my jerky neighbor would move away...

[Dr Morbius]

(bling!)

A Mayflower truck pulls up to your neighbours house and loads up all thier stuff for thier move...into YOUR house!

I wish I had an air compressor

[HibLaGrande]

(Bling) Once upon a time you 'had' and air compressor, The memory lingers of the great times you had with it. but all that is gone now! you no longer 'have' it.

I wish I could have done better at granting that last wish.

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted, well .. you think you have a better way to grant the wish but you keep redoing in thinking it's not good and spend the rest of your life trying to come up with the best reply to that one wish and die a broken man.

I wish I had a full breakfast buffet in my kitchen

[HibLaGrande]

MMMMMmmm full breakfast buffet. sure thing! Hokus-cadabera! a full breakfast buffet is laid out in your kitchen. fresh from a unkown jungle tribe in India. you have your choice of deep fried hissing cockroaches ,fire ant pudding ,Tasty tiger tesicles,crocodile egg omlete,chilled monkey brains, and freshly squuezed wombat milk. among some other thing you can't seem to make out.MMMmmm.

Now I'm hungry.
I wish for a Country Burger Delux from Country Kitchen cafe' complets with 2 quarter pound slabs of hamburger,shaved ham,four strips of bacon, lettuce,tomato,onion, green olives, and Mayo. seved on toasted sourdough. Fries.(best damn hamburger on the planet, breakfast of champions )

[SuFiKitten77]

Granted .. you now have the burger in front of you and start to eat really fast .. apparently too fast because you choke to death from not chewing well enough.

I wish I was in New Jersey

[Dr Morbius]

Alaka-pokus!

You are in New Jersey.

It doesn't get more messed up than that!

I wish for a MILLION ToT's this year!!!

[claymud]

You do get a million TOT's this year and run out of candy. but you run out of candy and the TOT's are soooo mad they flip over your house.

I wish that I had a pie... a good one!

[HibLaGrande]

One steaming fresh pie coming up! Cow pie that is ,and it's a good one.

I wish everyone to have a good day at work tommorow.

[claymud]

Everyone does have a good day, so good in fact that they don't come home and no one grants your wish.
I wish that all that good classic movies would come to theaters again so I could seem them!

[Dr Morbius]

Your wish is granted..(violins, please!)

Without specifying which genre of good classic movies, you are nailed down to a theater chair and forced to watch Gone with the Wind, Casa Blanca, every movie starring Joan Crawford, Betty Davis, and Gene Kelly.

I wish I had more money to spend on supplies for my Props this Halloween.

[HibLaGrande]

Zim Zim zala bim dala douzala dim. You have got your money for your props. You got an angle on every corner. You've got a little bit from all directions. Every week Johnny Thug brings in your piece of the numbers, Slim brings you the jack from your late night ladies. Plus a monthly check comes from your slums down on the southside. Life was good until a customs official you had on your payroll got popped bringing in your shipment from columbia and started naming names.

The props you built were trampled by the FBI when they decided to raid your home. However, Trixie the "two toofed" crack head sent you soap on a rope the first day you arrived at the state pen. Ahhh what a heart warming gesture.:D

I wish to own a giant gothic black stone tower 300 ft high, so I could live there with all my miliions of dollars, lavish expensive furniture , and high end sports cars.

[Dr Morbius]

Zim Zim zala bim dala douzala dim. You have got your money for your props. You got an angle on every corner. You've got a little bit from all directions. Every week Johhny Thug brings in your piece of the numbers, Slim brings you the jack from your late night ladies. Plus a monthly check comes from your slums down on the southside. Life was good until a customs official you had on your payroll got popped bringing in your shipment from columbia and started naming names.

The props you built were trampled by the FBI when they decided to raid your home. However, Trixie the "two toofed" crack head sent you soap on a rope the first day you arrived at the state pen. Ahhh what a heart warming gesture.:D

I wish to own a giant gothic black stone tower 300 ft high, so I could live there with all my miliions of dollars, lavish expensive furniture , and high end sports cars.


Hahaha! That is, in my opinion, the GREATEST funniest messed up wish I have ever read! LOL times infinity! I am seriously laughing myself to tears!:p

Oh my god...ok..

On to your wish:

After attending the reading of your great uncle's will, you are invited to spend one night at his giant gothic black stone tower...which coincidently contains millions of dollars and high end sports cars. If you survive, you own it.

You survive the night, however, the dozen friends you invited died horrible deaths..Investigations lead to no paranormal activity, and conclude that you are the murderer.

Trixie, the "two toofed" crack whore, sends my regards.

I wish everyone had HibLaGrande's sense of humor.

[HibLaGrande]

I wish everyone had HibLaGrande's sense of humor.

Thanks!
oh man I'm not gonna touch this one!:googly:

[Dr Morbius]

I wish everyone had HibLaGrande's sense of humor.

Nobody to mess up my wish? What a setup! come on guys..I'll mess it up myself if nobody else does!

[Mollins]

Granted!

Everyone know has HibLaGrande's sense of humour, In which causing it to become mediocre and boring, causing everyone to kill themselves through a lack of comedy value of everything.

I wish I had a steady safe building I could use to haunt every year

[Dr Morbius]

Granted...

you are now in jail...happy haunting!

I wish Cornflakes were Goldflakes

[HibLaGrande]

Wham Bam! All cornflakes are now gold flakes! The box you were holding at the time the wish was made drops from your hand, smashing your toes into something that resembles hotdogs that were over cooked in a microwave oven. Due to the sudden weight change of their cargo, hundreds of semi tractor trailers blow tires causing thousands of deaths on the highways across the world.Roits insue as the value of gold is now on par with the value of toilet paprer. Economys fall to ruin.

I wish that I am the only one to win the 340 million dollar power ball jackpot this week.

[claymud]

Bamowhamo you do but as for some randam reason the police decide to arrest every ritch person in the world... guess not the best time to win that power ball eh?

I wish that I wasn't so tired.

[Dr Morbius]

POP!

All the tires on your car (or bike) pop and fall off.

you are de-tired.

I wish my vaccum cleaner ran/runs by itself (automatically) so that my carpets are cleaned without intervention from anyone..(including zombies, ghosts or vampires).

[TipoDeemin]

Presto! Upon waking, you find a miniature black hole (nature's own vaccum!) located in a strategic position in your house, and it runs all by itself. In fact, after a few minutes, it is by itself! Your carpets are clean, all right--clean of your possessions, your pets, your family, and possibly you if you can't hold on tight enough.

I wish I had a mephit to eternally do my bidding.

[ScareFX]

Congratulations! You now have the mephit pictured below. But he's is giving you the finger because he has stolen your identity. Your credit cards are being used to bid on and buy useless items on EBay. You become bankrupt and are forced to live in poverty for eternity.


I wish Trixie would go back to the crack house.

[Dr Morbius]

Presto-cadabra!

Trixie, the "Two-Toofed" Crack head moves into YOUR house, and invites all her crack friends over.."Skinny Sally," "Stinky Sam," "Rail-Ridden Roxie", and "Tuberculosis Tina"..Turning tricks to support thier habits, a long line of desperate drunks and meth-heads form out front. Your windows are broken, your house smells like catfood and ass, and all your furniture is sold to Ray, the Rock dealer. You are forced to sleep on a blood and urine stained sleeping bag... Yours is the most popular crack house in town!

I wish my lightbulbs would never burn out.

[pyxl]

By your command, it is thus. Your lightbulbs will never burn out...because the electricity from your home has been permanently disconnected. Sweet darkness is upon you.

I wish for peace on earth and good will toward men.

[claymud]

Ahh the ultimet wish, but since there is no more war people soon start to lose money and jobs... well then everyone goes broke and all hell breaks loose.

I wish that there was less school in the week.

[TipoDeemin]

Done, and done! You now only have a couple days of school a week. However, you've still got to fill the same amount of classroom hours, so the school year has been extended--to three years. That gives you nine more years 'til your high school diploma, but hey, at least you've got plenty of time to do your homework!

I now wish that my printer wasn't broken.

[claymud]

Sure its not broken now... but it comes alive and eats you... So i guess thats a lose win...

I wish I had a dime...

[Sinister]

A dime you now have, and that shall be the last one you'll ever get...this includes any other money as well. So you die on skid row, homeless, with not a thing but that dime, which won't even buy you a bottle of the cheapest booze.

I wish I could finish all the writing projects I have going on now.

[Dr Morbius]

Whiz-bang!

Your keyboard smokes from the speed of your fingers.

Files can't save fast enough, so you turn to pen and paper.
You scribble furiously, untill you are finally done with ALL your writing projects!

Seems like nervana, untill...you realize..

It all sucks.

You went too fast, and didn't have time to edit your work, or even to use good judgement!

Stories you had in your head wandered off into strange directons. As you peruse your penned babblings, you crumple the last two pages in your fists and slump over on your desk, disgusted at the thought of starting over.

You plunge the pen you were holding into your temple, splattering a single drop of blood marking a period into the last sentence you wrote: "I would die for my writings."

I wish I got a raise at work.

[TipoDeemin]

Alakazzam! Your company creates a new division, and you're promoted and given a raise! Unfortunately, it's a zombie-wrangling division--you know, to cover up that incident last month. Technically, your raise is just hazard pay. No worries, though; that zombie only scratched you, and probably no one will even notice. At least you got a decent paycheck!

I wish my back would quit hurting.

[claymud]

Granted, not only does your back QUIT hurting it just quits and it leaves you like a blob of jelly lying on the floor.

I wish I was a Oscer Mire Weiner, that Is what I really want to be, and if I was a Oscer Mire Weiner everyone would be in love with me!!!

[Sinister]

By the power of three times three so shall it be! You are that most coveted of frankenfurters. You are eaten every day. The down fall of all this is that you feel the exquisite agony of each and every bite that is inflicted upon your casing as teeth dig into your processed meat by product insides. You still feel it as you are digested by the searing pain of the human body's acids and sent out to exit as a pile of excretment, into the toilet and on the way to a dank, dark, stinking hole known as a septic tank, where you rot away wondering why you ever thought to wish for such a dumb ass thing.

I wish that professional sports players and actors weren't paid so much goddamn money for something some of us all do every day for free.

[Dr Morbius]

Ka-ching!

All sports players and actors are now broke. They no longer receive paychecks for thier talents. They all quit and get into other professions, and are replaced with amateur athletes and actors.

Sports are a joke, and all the movies made now, are horribly acted. No one will watch either, and sports and movies disappear forever.

I wish we had a thriving moon colony.

[HibLaGrande]

as per your request... All property within a mile of your home has been purchased by an investment firm. All of your neighbors had recieved notice in the mail with a very generous check for their relocation. Yours was lost in the mail. The research team for said investment firm had discovered a geological signficance between the astral positioning of the land around your house and and a link to the beliefs of a certain secular group. while your protests and appeals are slowly chuning through the bowels of the judicial system, a large wall is built by creepy bald people in white robes, around the parimiter of one mile. The parimiter is with no doors. no one will leave and no one will enter ever again. You are now part of the worlds largest colony of moonies. aptly named the moon colony by those on the outside.

I wish every word in the next reply to be spelled wrong.

[Dr Morbius]

O Kraap.

EK,

Yer weesh us grunted%

rEsplonding tew yur weesh, ivory werd en thes reepli es spelld wrung.

Konteplate thes:

know weesh wuz spesifecally maade, zo, awl ey kan doo eez bable awn aand awn. Yew gow maad triying tew macke centz uv et awl.

Ey weesh forr thuh zame theeng frum thuh nekst replie.

[HibLaGrande]

Oe Mahn ,

Fore sum unnoene reesin Iye fowned yt hawrd tu figyur owt watt thuh preeveeis whische wuz phore. soe Iye wiyul trie tu kiyul tu berds whyf won stown.
Thiz iz tuffer thin et sownds. az pur yore rekwest, ewe wilbee reseeving thuh saim theeng thait Eye Wilbee whissheing four knowe.

Iye whische two bie beeten haf tu def bye a to toofed krak-hoer weeleding aye daie owld doenught, wyle rydink aye vary larje purpul ponie threw doune toune trffik wharing onlie a peenck bunee cahstyoom.

[Dr Morbius]

It's parade day!

You gather with friends and family at the side of the road to witness the greatest Halloween parade in history!

Scary floats go by with sinister displays and Hot Rod cars with black and orange streamers creep by as well..The local marching band is dressed up as zombies and play an instrumental version of Michael Jacksons' Thriller.

Things go great until..

You see at a distance a pinkish fluffy mass..Hmm not very Haloween-like, you think to yourself, and wait in anticipation of what it could be..

Oh, a Bunny riding a purple pony! How cute is tha......Your thoughts are stopped short by a sharp pain on the side of your head..you notice you have been pelted by a Day-old doghnut!

You can't believe a cute pink bunny would deck you with a doghnut, but then you notice it is Trixie, the two-toofed crack whore!

She dismounts the purple pony, and runs after you, Pissed off that you made her involved in yet ANOTHER inane wish.

She beats you half-to -death with every last remaining doughnut she has in her arsenal, which happened to be about thousand of them.

The parade is called off, and you are no longer allowed to participate in anymore Halloween events in your town!

I wish Trixie the two-toofed crack whore would die.

[TipoDeemin]

Your wish is my command!

Trixie the two-toofed crack whore happens to walk down the wrong alley one night, and the next day, the cops find her mangled body. She is given a short but touching funeral and buried in the cemetery nearest your home approximately a week later. Unfortunately for you, a black cat jumps over our dear friend Trixie's grave as the casket is being lowered into it. Not long afterwards, people around your neighborhood begin to fall strangely ill and die inexplicably. That, and the earth around Trixie's grave always seems so fresh!

Looks like poor dead Trixie, having been raised on old wives' tales from her Romanian grandmother, couldn't help but interpret this as a sign that she was supposed to rise again and walk amongst the living. Guess which two teef she still has? :D That's right! Trixie the two-toofed crack whore is now Trixie the two-toofed vampire, and your street corner is her new favorite haunt.

I wish my lame friend who always comes to my Halloween parties without a costume would quit being such a spoil-sport and dress up this year.

[kevin242]

Ala Kazam! Your wish has been granted!

Your lame friend decides to surprise everyone and make an awesome costume. He gathers some old clothes from his closet, takes a pair of scissors and gets to work crafting the most insane, spooky swamp zombie costume ever! Unfortunatly, on his way to the Halloween party, he realizes that he is indeed lame and cannot walk. He has no choice but to spend the entire night at home watching the lame edited versions of horror movies on ABC Family...

I wish the freaking rain and wind would stop trashing my props!

[Dr Morbius]

[thundercrash] Lightning fills the dark sky over your yard.

The wind and rain is really relentless, and you gaze in frustration at the brutal beating your props are taking..just then you notice a shadowy figure appear over the highest mound of your yard. With arms stretched upward, the figure summons the power to stop the wind and rain! A few flashes of lightning illuminates the figure just enough for you to recognize the face.

It is Trixie! The two-toofed crack Vampire!

She happily kicks over the remaining props in your yard, totally ruining them. As you run to stop her, she grabs you by the nape of your neck and sinks her two-toofed fangs into your jugular.

Not only are you now a vampire, you also have an uncontrollable craving for crack!

I wish the next reply was spelled backwards!

[ScareFX]

.esuohkcarc ym fo tuo teg dluow seripmaV eseht hsiw I

!kcarc rof gnivarc elballortnocnu na htiw eripmav a era oot uoy woN .metsys ralucsav oidrac ruoy hguorht gniwolf nibolgomeh der eht rof elttes kcarc on gnidnif dna thgin fo krad eht ni nwod uoy tnuh yeht oS .kcarc no si rotcoD doog eht emussa yeht duol tuo ylper siht gnidaer nigeb uoy nehW .kcarc rof tnuh eht no llits era eripmaV kcarc defoot-owt eht eixirT dna 242niveK ,ees uoY .ydegart ot dael noos lliw enod evah uoy tahw ,hguone suouconni smees ylper sdrawkcab a rof erised ruoy elihW

.redro esrever ni nettirw s'ti sdrawkcab delleps ylper eht si ylno toN

!dnammoc ym si hsiw ruoY

[Sinister]

The crackhouse is now free of Undead influence, but has been replaced with bloodthirsty Werewolves infected with both AIDS and Rabies.

I wish that we could get many of the members we had on the old BADASS forums on this message board too.

[Dr Morbius]

Wishy Washy!

Your wish is granted...

All of the members from the badass universe forums are now posting on this forum..However, your wish has been interpreted by all the other members here as being a wish they all would vanish...So, all the members here go, and since everyone from the old forum has no new people to talk to, they leave too..you are alone and free to post to yourself forever.

I wish I owned every horror movie ever made.

[Sinister]

Done and Done! Every Horror Movie that has ever been made suddenly drops into your house from silent forgotten films, to the lowest pile of crap that was ever allowed to be made from some punk kids camera in their parents basement. The sheer amount of film reels, video tape, laserdiscs, DVD's etc. crush you, your family and bursts through every seam in your house destroying everything for several miles in every direction.

(On a side note, I just happen to like a great many folks here posting now, including you Doc! :D ;) )

I wish I never had my last auto accident.

[Dr Morbius]

(we like you too sinister!)

KaRash!

Your last car accident isn't your last. In fact every time you get into a car, whether you are the one driving or not, you get into an accident. It seems you can't even look at a car without causing an accident. After gazing at the busiest intersection in town, you cause a massive 300 car pileup! One of the buses rolls over, flips, and crushes you. The driver gets out, and performs mouth-to-mouth resussitation...wait! that's not mouth-to-mouth! It's mouth-to NECK! The driver was...(drumroll please)..

Trixie, the two-toofed crack vampire! She revives you in the most sinister (snicker) way! You two drive off into the sunset...untill you crash. Again.

I wish I had my servos and controller board so I could start building my new animatronic props.

[HibLaGrande]

(ScareFX, That was a very cool post :D )


Cha'ching, you are woking in your lab getting your new creation ready to fit the servos and other random electrical doohickies and thingamagizmo's,when they arrive. When ,from behind you, a chilling voice comes creeping around you neck..."Are theath the parths you wannid?" ... yes it is your friend ,and mine, Trixie "the two toofed" vampire crack whore. It seems she has cleaned up a bit and is now doing late night courier work. "Here thake thith thit will yuh!" she shoves the package.Brushing you aside, she wanders over to your latest animatronic monsrosity and laughs"what the hell ith thith thing?" she ,turns to you and spits "And now for the reth of your whith"

When you wake up trixie is gone along with your wallet and VCR. She left only the delivery uniform and a nice hickey on your neck.

You take to the vimpire life rather well.It turns out that it was not really that big of a switch for you and turn your attention to your props. You begin work. Planning ,adding to ,making bigger you work through the night and through the day constantly making it bigger,better. Days go by scarrier,larger. months turn into years. The age of man passes into oblivion and the things that replaced them don't celebrate halloween. yet you are still ticking away at that prop. "Almost done" you giggle to yourself,as the now dead planet Earth spins into the sun.

I wish Trixie would appear in "Mosters Unleashed" :D

[Sinister]

I grant thine wish.

Trixie makes her appearance in Monsters Unleashed. She does so via a temporal flux that opens in the neighborhood crack house unexpectedly and it transports her back in time to the 1800's, where before she gets her bearings and realizes what's going on, she is dispatched with a stake through the heart by one Abraham Van Helsing.

I wish I didn't have so many relatives that were fucking scum bags.

[kevin242]

Wow. After considerable thought, your wish has been granted...

All of the scum bags are gone. Now your relatives only have sex with bags of horse manure...

I wish that PC hippie buttholes )*(would stop trying to ban Halloween because it offends "Wiccans".

:mad: Rant: As an American citizen, I have every right to poke fun of your group, especially if you do things I think are goofy. You want to be labeled as part of a group? You want to speak out against injustice? That's your right. Just as I have the right to make fun of whomever I want. This includes, but not limited to: hippies, homos, retards & the handicapped, minorities, illegal aliens, rich people, poor people, liberals, born-again christians, baptists, left-handed troglodytes, children and the elderly. If you don't like what I'm saying, too bad. You like to dress up in black and bay at the full moon while holding hands around a tree? Good for you, Freak. Free speech is a right for all of us, not just a privilege for those easily offended...
ok I feel better!

[Sinister]

As you wish, so shall it be. Pinko-Commie Hippie Butthole's died off in the sixties as a result of smoking marijauna in its myriad forms due to an experimental herbicide known as Triox. The result: re-animated corpses with a desire for human flesh that overides their previous motivation to ban Halloween for absurd reasons. Now the world is overrun by the living dead, and Halloween and the banning of it is YOUR least concern as now your main desire is just to survive another day without becoming Zombie buffet.


I wish I had a big, thick, juicy rare steak (beef) with all the right side orders. :D

[Dr Morbius]

Ten..HUT!

Your in the Army now!

Your drill sargeant has ordered you to knaw on the right side of a cow!

Mmmm..juicy!

I wish people trick or treated on Christmas too, while wearing scary costumes!

[Dr Morbius]

no one to mess up my wish?

Does that mean I win?

[TipoDeemin]

I'm sorry this took so long, but the Wish Nazi jumped me and stole my reply to your wish, screaming "No wish for you!" as he fled out the front door. It took me four days to track him down.

The Nazi led me to a run-down bar in a back alley on Shady Street. As soon as I walked in, I knew there was going to be trouble, but I couldn't in good conscience let a wish go unanswered. I stepped coolly into the dive and looked the bartender in his one good eye. I pulled an artist's rendering of the Wish Nazi from the pocket of my trusty trenchcoat and waved it under his nose. "Have you seen this man?" I demanded.

http://members.aol.com:/somethingvvicked/WishNazi.jpg

The bartender pointed up the stairs with a grim look on his face. I headed boldly to the second floor.

The stairs opened onto a narrow hallway with a single door at the end. There was no time to be sneaky, so I made for the door, and fast. The door dropped to the ground like a penny thrown from the top of the Empire State Building, but I came to a dead stop in mid charge.

Sprawled before me was a scene so ghastly my mind nearly snapped. Trixie...? Even this is too low! Taking no time out to think, I closed my eyes against the horrors, kicked aside a pair of furry handcuffs, and grabbed the response from the Wish Nazi's grasp. I wish I could tell you that I gave that man a sound beating for his crimes, but no... I ran. I ran with every fiber of my being, 'til my legs caved beneath me and sent me flying to the ground. And then I crawled. I crawled on my hands and knees to bring this response to you, and by God, I'll read it to you now!

<Clearing throat> "Shazaam! Your wish is granted! Now children trick or treat on Christmas, in scary costumes, too! They dress like scary shepherds and wise men, and sing terrifying songs about a fat man in a red suit and deer with glowing noses. And they don't want candy; they want presents. They've got lists, and they won't stop singing 'til they get it all."

I wish I hadn't seen that horrible sight at the bar last night. Oh, Trixie... Trixie, how could you?

[claymud]

Granted amundo... But you were never able to track down the question nazi and he is able to bord a plane to France where you now have no chance of finding him... You never knew about what took place at the bar and you are free of the torment... but wait if the question Nazi is in France then there is no way that this awser could exhist... or anyother questions for that matter... now I'm confused... help...

I wish I understood what was going on...

[Dr Morbius]

REWIND!

Tipodeemin never saw the wish-nazi with Trixie the two-toofed vampire crack whore, and so never retrieved the wish I made..Since you granted her wish and she never saw him, my wish still remains ungranted...


I wish people trick or treated on Christmas too, while wearing scary costumes!

[claymud]

People and its a big smash hit! But wait whats this... They are now showing a sliced together version of Ernest Scared Stupid and Ernest saves christmas... it makes no scencs... oh but it gets worse... Insted of having to put up with those Martha Stwered living specials once the season there are now special two hour specials for the Halloween and Christmas aspects of the haliday... but wait theres more... Scince all the kids went out to get candy on christmas eve and got all hopped up on sugar they stayed up all night so Santa had to skip them all.

Now you see Doc thers a angrey mob of three year old children comming at you... Boy I'm glade I never made that wish, Bye!

I wish I had a canoe

[Dr Morbius]

Poof!

You have a canoe.

Now you are up shit creek without a paddle, 'cause you didn't wish for one.


I wish I had a camera that took better night pics!

[Sinister]

Your camera is now able to take night pix no matter how dark it is. It can take clear pictures even in the darkest of caves, deepest of wells, the blackest of nights, but when the daylight comes about then it goes up like a vampire exposed to full sunlight and unfortuanately you lose all of your pix and your night vision camera as well.

I wish I didn't have indigestion right now.

[dougspaulding]

I wish I didn't have indigestion right now.

You don't - because a zombie just ate your stomach (I just thought of that because I just finished watching My Boyfriend's Back)

I wish I could think of a good gift to get Uncle 4E for his birthday party next Saturday.

[scarface]

You get him some Hillary Duff movies and a Bon Jovi tape. Nice work!!!

I wish I could get over this wicked bird flu and this touch of polio I have.

[Dr Morbius]

The polio prevented you from getting vaccinated from the bird flu..You die from both..You are now over them.

I wish Easter was Halloween.

[Sinister]

Easter is now Halloween. I hope you are happy with your wish, because now the situations have reversed and Easter is now on October 31.

I wish I didn't have to makes so much food for everyone on Thanksgiving.

[Dr Morbius]

Poofbasted!

You no longer have to make so much food for everyone on Thanksgiving. You only have to make some food for everyone on the planet every day!

I wish they would bring back 8 track tapes.

[Sinister]

The 8-track tapes come back and simultaneuosly wipe out the CD market. No one even has an 8-track tape player and can no longer listen to music. With no music to chill anyone out, a world-wide apocalypse ensues and everyone and everything is annhilated just because you wished for the crappy invention that made stars out of such tripe as Peter, Paul and Mary, Red Sovine, Three Dog Night and The Chuckwagon Gang.

If it isn't going to snow for Christmas or Thanksgiving, I wish it would fucking rain all day long both days.

[Dr Morbius]

Forecasto!

It turns out snow is NOT in the forecast for Thanksgivivg or CHristmas.

Through the help of your wish, and a little absurdity, snow has the ability to have sex with rain..In fact, it's been fucking rain on both days, all day long.

The offspring is a meteorlogical nightmare. Giant blobs of slush, 5 to 20 gallons each plummet the earth with violent ferocity. Too slushy to drain, too slushy to shovel, it piles up and covers the earth, turning it into a planet-wide Slurppee.

This attracts a passing UFO and the aliens find they like the slushy treat! The earth becomes "The Treat of the Galaxy".

Every alien family in the universe brings thier kids to the new intergalactic 7-11, untill they slurp up the last of the slush...They encounter your dead-frozen corpse and grimace at the flavor of it. Feeling like they had been "had", the aliens blow up the earth, for fear of furthur contamination.


I wish my laundry would wash itself.

[HibLaGrande]

Your wardrobe now consists of only a single suit made from live kittens. The last time anyone seen you alive ,you were running away from an extremeist PETA Mob through china town.

I wish I knew what a hubcap diamond star halo was.