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Today is the University of Florida's Physical Plant Division Employee Appreciation Day (say that 5 times fast).

I got to come to work 3 hours early today. The reason? So I can get out of work early to attend a mandatory celebration. Mandatory as in show-up-or-you'll-be-FUBAR. I'll get a free piece of chicken and a cup of sweet tea. Plus, my boss is letting me inventory around 300 items because there's nobody coming in to buy anything. They're all sleeping in their trucks.

And that's how you get appreciated here.

No promotions (there's nowhere to go but down around here).:finger:

No raises (it's not in the budget. Ever.):finger:

Free piece of chicken. Sweet tea.:zombie:

Oh, look! I think I see light on the horizon! Maybe the sun will come up soon. I feel so appreciated.....:rolleyes:
 

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Sounds like our company's "Christmas Party" and "Summer BBQ". Actually, it just flat-out sounds like the company I work for.

:finger:
 

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Ahhh, sounds like good times!:rolleyes:

I have today off.:devil: :smoking:
 

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Whilst reading Pete's regrettable lamentations, I had to read them a couple of more times just to make certain he was still employed with UF. It sure sounds like he started working for Wal-Mart to me. Sorry about all that BS, man. They know they can treat people like crap because if you don't like it, you can always quit and they'll hire some illegal immigrant to take your place for less money, it's all the same to them.

The modern workplace! :finger: **** tha man! :finger:
 

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Hey Pete - I think you need to spike the sweet tea with a little booze. That might kill the bug up their ass. :googly:
 

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grapegrl said:
Yeah... UF SUCKS!!!
Oh. My. God.

And I thought you were a good witch!

Go Gators!!!

Now look what you've made me do:

Q: How many Noles can you fit in a locker?

A: About 6 or 7 if it's a closed Foot Locker
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A little boy and his mother were walking through a Tallahassee cemetery they came upon a headstone that read "Here lies a FSU graduate and an honest man."

The little boy asked, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?"
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Did you hear about the FSU linebacker that stole a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
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The FSU library burned down, too. They lost both books.
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Four FSU football players are in a car together...who's driving?
The police...
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Florida State University has adopted a new "Honors System" Yes your Honor, No your Honor.
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Q : Why is ice no longer available at FSU football games?
A : The senior who knew the recipe graduated.
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Q : What are the longest 3 years of an FSU football player's life?
A : His freshman year.
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Q : How do you get an FSU graduate off your front porch?
A : Pay him for the pizza.
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Q : How many FSU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A : None. That's a sophomore course.
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Q : What does the average FSU football player get on his SAT?
A : Drool.
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Florida State has hired a new defensive coordinator:... Robert Shapiro.
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What do you call a drug ring in Tallahassee? A huddle...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The FSU football players were all in a remedial English class, and the teacher asked "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?"

All the players shouted in unison with Nole pride..."THE APPEAL!"
 

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Yuk, yuk, yuk! :D Yes, I am an FSU alumna who has been suffering through the last few seasons of bad football courtesy of the "Crimi-Noles". Those jokes were good...we usually hear some variation of them up here with 'UF' substituted for 'FSU'. On a related note: I've found it a little harder to absolutely despise UF since Spurrier left.

Good witch??? Hmmm...depends on who ya' ask!! ;) :p

A few more funnies:

What do you call 12 Gators in a basement?
A "Whine" Cellar


The University of Florida library burned down. They lost both books. It wasn't considered a total loss since both of them had already been colored in anyway.

Did you hear about the Gators found frozen in a car at the drive-in movie in January?
They went to see "Closed for Winter".


What do tornadoes and Florida grads have in common?
They both always end up in trailer parks!


Why did the Gator grad get fired from the M&M factory?
He was throwing away too many W's.
 

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grapegrl said:
I've found it a little harder to absolutely despise UF since Spurrier left.

Good witch??? Hmmm...depends on who ya' ask!! ;) :p
1. Steve Spurrier is a "demigod"!

2. Alright, even though you are a graduate of "Free Shoes U" (a classic), I guess you're not such a bad witch after all. Even though your colour scheme made me queezy, you have charmed me nonetheless, my garnet and gold lady.

Now, as fellow Floridians, let's band together and pick on Tennessee - "Can't spell Citrus without "UT"!
 

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dougspaulding said:
Now, as fellow Floridians, let's band together and pick on Tennessee - "Can't spell Citrus without "UT"!
And you can't spell "SCUM" without UM! :D

We've gone and hijacked Pete's thread...I wonder how the mandatory appreciation party is going...:(
 

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grapegrl said:
We've gone and hijacked Pete's thread...I wonder how the mandatory appreciation party is going...:(
You're right - sorry Pete. How's it going? Good luck there in beautiful downtown Gainesville (the Garden Spot of the South).
 

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I remember this one job I had when I lived in Gainesville that the boss got mad because I missed one of their ******* hootenanny's for a prior commitment. He was so pissed in fact, that he set me up to fail and fired me for some little diddly **** infraction. I know this, because his foreman told me one night when I seen him out at a bar. He told me, "Ken, you know you were set up to fail, don't you?" and that 's when he explained the whole sordid affair to me, complete with the part that his boss wanted someone else and they hired me instead. ****ing jerk! :finger:
 

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UF gives you a FREE piece of chicken....AND a sweet tea??? And then, they ACTUALLY say they appreciate you???? Damn, I need a new job, the city of Apopka sucks!!!! Welcome to Florida, no unions, no employee rights, and 40,000 illegals just aching to do your job for $2.00 an hour less. Gotta love it!
 

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Bust ass. Work overtime. Ask to be paid a fair wage for your work."Crickets".
Listen to the boss lament how his new car is one of only two in Canada.It used to be the 'only' :(
Then have him GIFT his employees with a new photo-copier.

I'd like to take a nice photo-copy of the definition of the word "appreciation" in the dictionary,and nail gun it to their a$$.

Umm...who are we mad at again?! Oh yeah..THE MAN!!

I'm going to produce Pop-Tarts for Dogs(Canis familiaris),make a mint,and be THE MAN. No chicken & Tea for my staff though.
Only the best. Pop Tarts:For People. They haven't made that yet. That stuff you see at your supermarket is toxic waste.
They can't bury it all!!
 
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Faustian_Pact said:
Umm...who are we mad at again?! Oh yeah..THE MAN!!

I'm going to produce Pop-Tarts for Dogs(Canis familiaris),make a mint,and be THE MAN.
So, if I get this right, you'll be sticking to the man, right?

I think I saw this in a commercial, funny!
 

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Faustian_Pact said:
Pop Tarts:For People. They haven't made that yet. That stuff you see at your supermarket is toxic waste.
They can't bury it all!!
I dunno, I'm partial to the Fudge, S'Mores, Blueberry, Apple Frosted, and those ones with the white filling with the chocolate pastry. Good stuff, if it's toxic waste, I should be glowing when I walk in a dark room and from all of them I've eaten. :zombie:
 

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I dunno what to say...This makes me REALLY appreciate my job..check this out:

1. Last week I got a 10% raise
2. this week was Lab Appreciation day. We celebrate for 5 days..We got Pizza, Sees candy, doughnuts, bagels, Deli sandwiches, $25 gift cards for Del Monte shopping center in Monterey, and I got an annual job appraisal that was so good, it brought my boss to tears.

3. We had a "Guess which employee belongs to this baby picture" contest. Had to guess 13. I guessed them all and got another 50 bucks worth of Del Monte Shopping pleasure.

4. I Got picked for implementing the new Software system for the lab..Big bucks..

5. My boss lets me leave early on project days but pays me for a full day anyway.

I am not trying to rub it in, but man, there ARE good jobs out there. You just gotta find them.

Oh, and Pop-Tarts ROCK!
 
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