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If you haven't seen this film yet, whatever you do, run, do not walk, to a DIFFERENT SHELF of your video store. I accidentally turned it in late today and was outraged at myself; this piece of crap wasn't worth one dollar, let alone two.
You ever notice in the DVD extras, the worse a movie is the longer the cast and crew spend bubbling about the director's "vision"?:finger:
One old guy in the cast, who I initially liked, I now hate: He went on and on about how the first two Creepshows were good, but the third is the best. "oh, I know the first ones were written by Stephen King and directed by George Romero, but ours is definitely the best written, best directed, best acted blah blah blah..."
...I wanted to reach through the screen and dig the old bastard's windpipe out through his eyesockets. I've done a few really nice prosthetic jobs on people that I was pretty proud of, but you'll never hear me say something like "Well, you know, that Dick Smith and Stan Winston are pretty talented guys, but I just have an eye for detail and flair for the creative process that really make their work seem pretty lame." If you like what you've done, say so, but don't dis the Masters by claiming superiority. Creepshow was a labor of love; an E.C. Comics dedication by two of horror's greatest titans. The sequel was disappointing but at least followed in spirit and was watchable. #3 is an insult, pure and simple, to the creators of the originals. Two nameless hacks (who shared the title of writer/director/producer) managed to secure the Creepshow name and use the vignette format and claim that the franchise is alive and well. God only knows what the money went toward, it clearly didn't go toward sets, or actors, or special effects, or writers, or music, or....anything.
Don't get me wrong. I love bad horror movies. Some are So Bad They're Great. This one just sucks. It's not schlocky, it's too smirkingly self-referential for that -- it's just plain crappy. The horror isn't horrifying, the humor isn't funny, nothing is scary, and a lot of it simply doesn't make any sense. None of the characters are the least bit engaging, or even real enough to be caricatures. The dialogue is nothing that you can imagine people actually saying, and no one's actions are even remotely understandable or believable. Just.... just.... I can't go on..
Forgive me for this endless rant. But I had to clear that out of my system.
You ever notice in the DVD extras, the worse a movie is the longer the cast and crew spend bubbling about the director's "vision"?:finger:
One old guy in the cast, who I initially liked, I now hate: He went on and on about how the first two Creepshows were good, but the third is the best. "oh, I know the first ones were written by Stephen King and directed by George Romero, but ours is definitely the best written, best directed, best acted blah blah blah..."
...I wanted to reach through the screen and dig the old bastard's windpipe out through his eyesockets. I've done a few really nice prosthetic jobs on people that I was pretty proud of, but you'll never hear me say something like "Well, you know, that Dick Smith and Stan Winston are pretty talented guys, but I just have an eye for detail and flair for the creative process that really make their work seem pretty lame." If you like what you've done, say so, but don't dis the Masters by claiming superiority. Creepshow was a labor of love; an E.C. Comics dedication by two of horror's greatest titans. The sequel was disappointing but at least followed in spirit and was watchable. #3 is an insult, pure and simple, to the creators of the originals. Two nameless hacks (who shared the title of writer/director/producer) managed to secure the Creepshow name and use the vignette format and claim that the franchise is alive and well. God only knows what the money went toward, it clearly didn't go toward sets, or actors, or special effects, or writers, or music, or....anything.Don't get me wrong. I love bad horror movies. Some are So Bad They're Great. This one just sucks. It's not schlocky, it's too smirkingly self-referential for that -- it's just plain crappy. The horror isn't horrifying, the humor isn't funny, nothing is scary, and a lot of it simply doesn't make any sense. None of the characters are the least bit engaging, or even real enough to be caricatures. The dialogue is nothing that you can imagine people actually saying, and no one's actions are even remotely understandable or believable. Just.... just.... I can't go on..
Forgive me for this endless rant. But I had to clear that out of my system.
