Halloween Monlogue?

hey evryone well this year im working once again at the local proffesional hanut well its really big to work there blah blah blah anyway im auditioning as a stroller ( im basically a character that walks around tlaking to the crowd in w/e costume i happen to be in that day/night) Anyway i need a really good monologue to get in. I was looking for somehting with real character, and preferably a comedy ( the people who own the place were all actors and improv players) so if anyone had any ideas that would be great!

your scarily Colin...Suds