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A disgruntled cook at the local bar and grill poisons your food. You suffer in agony for days until the poison eventually kills you.
 

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A suicidal airline pilot intentionally crashes the plane you're on, killing you (and everyone else on board).

At least mine will be quick and realtively painless.
 

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Master of Scaremonies
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While you're in bed with another woman, your wife comes home and catches you in the act. In a fit of rage, she stabs you to death violently with a pair of scissors.

:D
 

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JT's Sidekick
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lit cig dropped in car, I swerve into oncoming traffic
 

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"While on a group tour of a candy factory, you fall over a guardrail and land on a taffy pulling machine. Your head, torso, and legs are ripped into three separate sections."

Dang...and I used to like taffy. :googly:
 

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While swimming, a power line falls into the pool you're in, sending a million volts of electricity through your body. You're fried instantly.


I did just start swimming at the gym pool....indoors though.
 

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"While driving down a dark country road as well over the speed limit, you hit a deer. Severely wounded and unable to move you bleed to death in your car. Your dead body isn't discovered until the following morning." That shows what the psychic knows....my car doesn't even make it up to the speed limit, let alone over it! And in NJ, there are no deer left because all the new building has chased them to Pennsylvania!

And Vlad, darling...the chess board is set up and waiting for you...MUWAHAHAHA :devil:
 
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14,925 Posts
"You put an excessive amount of lighter fluid onto a charcoal grill. Upon lighting the grill, you are engulfed in flames and are burned alive. "

You know, with the way I BBQ, that could really happen!
Well doc, seems this happens to me also, but funny thing is I have a gas grill.
I wonder if this all happens at your house? Have you sent me an invite to some great BBQ you're having?
 

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While attending a horse show, you bend over to tie your shoe. Halfway though the brief process, you receive a deadly kick from a startled Clydesdale
 

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Freid extra crispy while disconnecting the ground box on 13200 line
 

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She looks so normal
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21,274 Posts
My son, who is sick of being over-disciplined, attacks me in my sleep with a knife stabbing me repeatedly. That's freaky cause last night I got in a fight with my son. But he loves me to much, doesn't he?
 

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Administrator
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You are the victim of a home robbery and are shot in the head several times at point blank range while you're asleep.
 
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