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If you could go back....

2K views 28 replies 20 participants last post by  Ghostess 
I've been thinking about this since I read it last night and it's really made me think... I mean deep think. I came up with all kinds of scenarios about changing this and that but all of it has made me who I am today. My mom taught me a long time ago to have no regrets. She said that regrets were a waste of time and they teach you nothing. She said to use all my mistakes as learning experiences and move on. Personally, I think that was GREAT advice.

That being said...

IF I could go back, I would have made my mom remind me on a daily basis how important an education is and that there are such things as scholarships for good grades and that you will get no where in this life without a college education. So, if I could, I would go back and either get good grades to get into a college or I would've gone to community college or something right after high school.
 
The problem, I think with most of us, is that what you are asking for is very personal to us. And some of us may still have issues with what we did or didn't do and know that if we could go back and change it we would... You're asking us to become vulnerable and open ourselves up to criticism from people that don't even know us! I don't think that seems quite fair. Plus, there are things that we could put up here and then people think.. "Oh they are just looking for sympathy". I don't think a halloween message board is the place for that kind of soul baring. But if you want some real honesty, here goes...

If I was smart, I would've listened to allt he kids my whole life who called me a fat ass and I would've stopped eating to comfort the pain and maybe people wouldn't look at me differently or make nasty comments about me. I also wouldn't have to sit around and listen to certain family members say "She'd be so pretty if she just los weight" Maybe someone would've invited me to a dance or a prom. Maybe I would've gotten a "boyfriend" before I was 18. Maybe men would've thought more of me than I thought of myslef and not used for the hole between my legs. I could've possibly avoided a ton of heartbreak and let down if I would've just been "normal". But not Tammy... She's fat and untouchable.

I would've fought harder to have a relationship with my Dad. He's the one that walked out for over 10 years and then when he did come back he died in a tragic car accident a year later. Maybe if I would've fought for him to love me enough to be there he wouldn't have died and he would still be in my life.

I would've never trusted my ex boyfriend and his "friend" Kelly who ****ed on MY living room floor on Valentine's Day after he stood me up for the evening.

I would've never slept with my best friend's boyfriend and ruined the only good friendship I ever had in my life.

There's plenty more, but I'll stop because I'm not that person anymore. And I can't think about changing the past because I am Tammy in the present and I am not that weak dumbass anymore.
 
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