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Discussion Starter #1
Guys - feel free to add to this list. I know there are many more than these. And no, these are not the "Man Laws".

They are all numbered 1 for a reason.

Man's Rules for Women
1-Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1-Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1-Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1-Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
1-Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1-Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1-When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1-Crying is blackmail.
1-Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1-We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1-Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1-Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1-Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1-A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1-Check your own oil! Please.
1-Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1-If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1-If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1-Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1-You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1-Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1-Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1-The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1-ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1-If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1-We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1-If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1-I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.
 

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Yes that was the brakes you heard and no it wasnt just the trash on the floor.
 

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spoken like a true man
 

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Oh if only women were as simple as the panel you've just shown.

in fact, i wish there was a switch dead center that could turn them on :D
 

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Ummmm sweetie, you should know that we don't (well I can only speak for myself) need a switch to turn us on. All we need (at least I do) is halloween stuff and diamonds. Most importantly I need plenty of duct tape and feathers.
 

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So........

I read my wife the 'Words women use' thing and she thought it was hilarious. Then I read her the 'man' thing and she got mad and I got in trouble.

I have nothing more to say about this.
 

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Hillbilly Wrangler
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3,472 Posts
That was funny as hell. I loved that. You definately attract the women with many buttons RK.
 

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In Remembrance
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7,646 Posts
So........

I read my wife the 'Words women use' thing and she thought it was hilarious. Then I read her the 'man' thing and she got mad and I got in trouble.

I have nothing more to say about this.
Truth hurts,
 

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Are you always like this?
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3,290 Posts
So........

I read my wife the 'Words women use' thing and she thought it was hilarious. Then I read her the 'man' thing and she got mad and I got in trouble.

I have nothing more to say about this.
Did she "whatever" you?
 

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I'm bringing sexy back
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7,769 Posts
Just because you have a button, doesn't mean it works. At least we have a few to choose from.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Yes'm but the combinations of a woman's buttons are sometimes worse than deciphering a Rubik's cube (although a HELL of a lot more fun to play with, where solving fast is NOT a goal, and you do not look like a nerd when you mess with one).
 
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