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Discussion Starter #1
Didn't you start a joke list somewhere the other day?Am I missing it?:confused: You wanted jokes put there instead of here.Thanks,Skull:xbones:
 

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I messed up when I was merging the threads, so I dropped it to come back later and fix it. I'll tell you what. We'll just start that here; what do you think? I simply changed the title. Just PM with any concerns you might have in the future. You know I'll be around. :D

From now on all jokes are to be placed within this thread. Eventually, I may move this to the Fun and Games forum, but for now until everyone knows where it is, I will leave the thread here. Have fun, my fiends! :devil:
 

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Ghost Maker
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3,014 Posts
I have finally learned why guys appear to loss there hair as they get older. At some point, a guy's hair stops growing out and it starts growing in. It snakes through the brain and exits the ears and nose. So whenever you ask a guy like me with ingrown hair a question and I can't remember, you will always notice me pulling on an ear or rubbing my nose as I unconsciously try to rattle the memory loss by pulling on the appropriate hair. :zombie:
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I messed up when I was merging the threads, so I dropped it to come back later and fix it. I'll tell you what. We'll just start that here; what do you think? I simply changed the title. Just PM with any concerns you might have in the future. You know I'll be around. :D

From now on all jokes are to be placed within this thread. Eventually, I may move this to the Fun and Games forum, but for now until everyone knows where it is, I will leave the thread here. Have fun, my fiends! :devil:
Thanks,I thought maybe my mind was going.:rolleyes:
 

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:D :p :googly: :finger: LOL


DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to
go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under
the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he
discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just
as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman
go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant
yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain
himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

See. Men just don't listen!
 

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I love that I have a customer who's dog will not let anyone leave the house
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Good,bad

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several **** movies hidden there
Ugly: You're in them

Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you

Good: Your son's finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections

Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She's a lawyer

Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
:D :D
 

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DeceptiProp
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5,851 Posts
Why did the chicken cross the road? Answer: to get to the other side.

Why did the man cross the road? Answer: Because he got his dick stuck in the chicken.
 

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Its Dark in here

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her
>9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom
>closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in
>the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
>
>The little boy says, "Dark in here."
>The man says, "Yes, it is."
>Boy - "I have a baseball."
>Man - "That's nice."
>Boy - "Want to buy it?"
>Man - "No, thanks."
>Boy - "My dad's outside.."
>Man - "OK, how much?"
>Boy - "$250"
>
>In a few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the
>closet together.
>
>
>Boy - "Dark in here"
>Man - "Yes, it is."
>Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
>The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
>Boy - "$750"
>Man - "Sold."
>
>
>A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go
>outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my
>baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
>Boy -"$1,000."
>
>The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...
>that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to
>church and make you confess."
>
>They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
>confession booth and he closes the door.
>
>The boy says, "Dark in here."
>The priest says, "Don't start that **** again, you're in my closet now"
>__________________________
 
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