Nessie
The one that got away
MYTHS & LEGENDS PART 3: MONSTERS
CLAIRE SMITH
NESSIE has become one of the most iconic symbols of Scotland, with a history stretching from St Columba to The Simpsons. In the latest in our series on myths and legends, we ask: is it one big hoax?
Truth factor: 1/5
We all love a Nessie story and millions want to believe a monster lurks in the epths. Every 'sighting' has been xposed as a hoax, but they insist no ne an prove the monster DOESN'T exist. Most of us are not so credulous.
START looking into the phenomenon of the Loch Ness Monster and you cannot help but stir up controversy. Nessie is one of the most iconic symbols of Scotland and every year thousands of tourists make the trip to the banks of Loch Ness. But the question of what is, or isn't, beneath the deep mysterious waters of the loch has given rise to feuds, rivalries, forgeries and even bombings.
Even today, a simmering rivalry exists between the two monster museums of Drumnadrochit, one of which takes a sceptical view of the mystery, while the other is very much pro-Nessie.
Years of hoaxes, pseudoscience and counterculture obsessives have made Nessie a dubious area for serious naturalists, while monster souvenirs are a byword for tourist tat. Yet, Nessie is one of our most enduring myths, with a history which stretches from St Columba to The Simpsons.
Whatever the real nature of the beast, she has become a much-loved symbol of the nation, instantly recognisable across the world.
Stories involving St Columba, and early-history Pictish carvings found in the Highlands, include a strange beast with flippers and a beak. Folk tales speak of kelpies, mischievous water horses who lured children to their deaths, and early maps contain places marked Loch Na Beistie.
The first written account of Nessie comes in St Adamnan's Life of St Columba in the seventh century, which tells of the saint rescuing a Pict from a monster in Loch Ness. Columba declared: "Thou shalt go no further, nor touch the man: go back with all speed." Some say Nessie has never attacked anyone since - others believe the story is a parable showing Christianity overpowering pagan belief in nature spirits.
Eyewitness accounts
THOUSANDS of people swear to have seen a creature moving on the dark, deep waters of Loch Ness. Some see humps, some a large shape like a whale, others something like a horse's head. Among the witnesses have been sober and upstanding members of the community. In June 1965, Detective Sergeant Ian Cameron said he saw a "whale-like object" 20ft (6m) feet long, while, in October 1971, Father Gregory Brusey, a monk from Fort Augustus Abbey, said he saw a neck 10ft (3m) high.
Nessie and the media
AFTER a new road along the shore of the loch was built in 1933, there was a spate of monster sightings, including those of Mr and Mrs Spicer, who claimed to have seen something like "a dragon or prehistoric animal" cross in front of their car.
The Daily Mail sent big-game hunter Marmaduke Wetherell, who produced plastercasts of two giant footprints, which turned out to have been created using a hippopotamus-foot umbrella stand. Wetherell, who may have been the victim of a hoax, became a national laughing stock - until he produced The Surgeon's Photo showing a plesiosaur swimming across the loch. Years later he confessed it had been faked by sticking a plaster head on a toy submarine.
Nessie and the counterculture
BELIEF and interest in the Loch Ness Monster rose in the 1960s when Nessie was adopted by the counterculture as one of the unexplained mysteries of the world. Psychics said Loch Ness was a gateway between one world and another and science fiction writers imagined Nessie was a time-travelling dinosaur. As science disputed the evidence, the legend grew. In the 1970s, amateur Nessie hunter Frank Searle lived in a caravan near Boleskine, the country house owned by Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin and where Aleister Crowley claimed to have contacted his holy guardian angel. Searle produced scores of photographs of Nessie - all fake.
Nessie on television
THE second series of The Goodies, in 1971, kicked off with an episode where the trio who resolved to "go anywhere, anytime" went to capture the Loch Ness Monster to cheer up a suicidal zookeeper. The threesome ran into Stanley Baxter, as a tourist official who tried to get them to prove they were Scottish, and the deadly Bagpipes Spider - "one bite and you dance the Highland Fling till you drop dead".
Nessie the cartoon
IN the 1983 BBC cartoon The Family-Ness, Elspeth and Angus McTout make friends with an entire community of Loch Ness monsters. The cartoon features German monster-hunter Professor Dumkopf, who tries to catch the monster using underwater telescopes and his "sherbet fizz" bubble machine.
In the 1999 Simpsons episode, Monty Can't Buy Me Love, Mr Burns drains the loch to find the monster and take him back to Springfield in a doomed bid to win popularity. The episode sees an emotional reunion between Groundskeeper Willie and his parents. Ma: "So you're back home now." Willie: "Aye." Pa: "I s'pose y'all be leavin soon." They shrug and walk off.
Nessie also stars in a Scooby Doo movie, in an episode of South Park and in scores of computer games, including Tomb Raider, Sim City 2000, Zoo Tycoon and Monster Truck Madness.
Nessie and Hollywood
THE 1996 Hollywood film Loch Ness captured many recurring Nessie themes, with its tale of a disconsolate scientist exiled on a hopeless mission to find the monster. Dr Dempsey, played by Ted Danson, is hampered at every turn by uncooperative locals but falls in love with hotelier Laura, played by Joely Richardson. He discovers the monster is real, but must be kept a secret.
In 2004, director Werner Herzog starred in a fake documentary Incident at Loch Ness, in which film-makers trying to disprove the existence of Nessie come across the real monster.
Currently in production is a major film The Water Horse, based on the novel by Dick King-Smith, set in the Second World War, in which two children find an egg which hatches and grows to become a Loch Ness Monster.
The exposure of numerous hoaxes has done nothing to dampen the public appetite for tales of the monster. Physicists argue the optical illusions seen so frequently are mirages. Biologists argue there is not enough food in the water to support such large creatures. Sonar surveys over the years have failed to find conclusive evidence. And there has never been any discovery of a Nessie corpse or bones.
Even the official name Nessiteras rhombopteryx, registered by Sir Peter Scott has been discovered to be an anagram of "Monster Hoax By Sir Peter S".
But the tales have their own life - thousands come to Loch Ness every year; millions around the world believe. And, as GK Chesterton pointed out: "Many a man has been hanged on less evidence than there is for the Loch Ness Monster."