Now, what good would a Best of, list be without a Worst of? Here go some atrocities that made my Hall of Shame this past year.
THE WORST HORROR FILMS OF 2005
1. Cursed. The things that are wrong about this film would read off like a shopping list. The name alone suits it. Hounded earlier on in production by a stack of problems, many of the names connected with the film either walked off the set or were fired. I've always thought Wes Craven wasn't a very good film director and boy was I proven wrong; he's much worse than I ever imagined and this movie proves it. A PG-13 version of this film hit the theater which was released to DVD alongside an "Unrated" version. The same happened with the second entry on my list (which actually tied this movie for being the worst) Here's a new rule that you in the home viewing audience would do well to adhere to where it involves Horror films: IF IT WAS PG-13 IN THE THEATERS, AN UNRATED DVD VERSION WILL BE THE SAME! Yes, I'm afraid that this film set back one of my favorite genre's Werewolf movies, back at least a century, destroying the trailblazing work wrought by Dog Soldiers and Ginger Snaps. Damn you Wes Craven, damn you to hell!
2. The Ring 2. How very interesting that the lovely Naomi Watts makes both my best and worst list of the year, but that is exactly what happened. Do I blame her for this stinker? Yes and every person involved with this mess, especially Hideo Nakata who was not only the director for this film, but the director of the original as well. It's a sad state of affairs when you can't even properly direct a remake of your own movie! Maybe it was a language barrier. The actors all moved around like they were confused most of the time. I'm sure that for the most part they weren't fluent in Japanese and perhaps that explains this atrocity. Maybe it also explains a boring, muddled storyline, crappy CGI deer and an almost comical looking main villain. Whatever is the case, chuck this down the well and watch the original instead.
3. Frankenstein Reborn. A very dull retelling of the Frankenstein mythos set in modern times with derivatives of all the original names of the story. The monster resembles the one in I was a Teenage Frankenstein but has none of the campy value of that film. If you see this one in the video store please pass it by, you have been warned. It's a snoozefest from the git-go. Terrible acting and sets so poorly lit that at times it's very difficult to discern who is who and what is going on. Not that you really want to know, no more than you wanted to know such garbage like this unentertaining schlock existed on this planet. Stay far, far away from this crap.
4. Land of the Dead. George A. Romero is not one of the best directors alive and working today. Do not be fooled by the hype. He has two excellent movies and one good one to his resume and the rest are pure tripe. Land of the Dead falls into his list of DOA's and is a big disappointment to most of his fans who expected so much more since the twenty plus years since his last installment in the "Dead" series. Filled to overflowing with illogical situations and inanities, it is little wonder studios found it extremely difficult to finance this excursion into mediocrity. I think it is safe to assume that Romero peaked with Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead was his swan song. Anything he has directed since those films stand as a testimonial to what could have been, but sadly wasn't.
5. Haute Tension. Before this French film was ever released over here, I was bombarded on various message boards and web sites that are Horror oriented, about how great this film was, a must see for any Horror aficionado, it was the savoir of the modern Horror film...you get the picture. After I viewed this, I kept wondering if I was watching the film that everyone was touting was so great. A quick peek at the box, told me indeed I was. More than any other film on my list, this one had so much potential from the start and quickly lost it after a couple of characters viewed a store video tape. After that it plummets faster than a comet in space. It left me feeling miserable that Horror may be truly dead, its fans so desperate for fresh air, will embrace ANYTHING that isn't a remake. This film is just a sad reminder that our beloved genre is turning to dust right before our eyes like a vampire staked out in the sun.
And there you have it, my picks and pans of the year. Feel free to add your lists and comments in these threads.
